Ask And You Shall Re-Peeve

  Part 2 of Things That Are Annoying Other Than Facebook

• People who fill their back window of their car with stuffed animals-flat out creepy.  
• When my grandpa picks his teeth with a business card or any object he can physically fit in between his teeth-trust me, it's just as gross as it sounds.
• Couples who put you on speakerphone-thanks for reminding me why I never want to call you.
• People who cut you off on the highway only to slow down once they are in front of you.
• People who BBM or text with others while you are currently engaged in a conversation with them.
• People who pretend to wash their hands in public bathrooms so that others think they are sanitary when in fact they are not.
• People who make excessively loud noise on their motorcycles and scare the crap out of the people around them-according to my friend Cheryl it should be illegal!
• Cars with bumper stickers that read, "My Child is High School Honor Student!"-p.s-no one cares.
• Dogs dressed as people-another really creepy one.
• Speaking of dogs-people who don't clean up their dog crap on NYC streets-I mean that's just disgusting.
• People who crack their gum.
• People who say "just kidding" after they have insulted you when you know they really mean it.
• Men who wear skinny jeans-it just kinda freaks me out if I see a guy wearing the same size jeans as me.
• People who spell their, there, and they're wrong-hello, we learned this when we were 7.
• People who eat tuna fish on an airplane-ugh, puke.

Well, those are all the peeves I could come up with today. I'm finding that as life goes on, my list of peeves only gets longer. Don't get me wrong,  there are a lot of things that don't annoy me.  But as my sister's boyfriend says, I am a bit intolerant.  Have a great weekend, and try to stay dry!!

Help Wanted

Hey Friends-
I've had such an overwhelming response (in a good way) to the Peeves blog last week that I figured I'd give it another go.  Tomorrow I will once again be posting things that annoy me other than facebook, and I would love to know what annoys you.  It can be absolutely anything, the funnier the better.  Ask your friends, ask your mom, ask your Rabbi of Priest, I don't care, ask everyone you know what their pet peeves are. Please send me an email at thegirlwhoquit@gmail.com with any pet peeves you come up with! Can't wait to read them

xoxo
The Girl

This Is Not A Pickup Line: Do I Know You From Somewhere?

After re-reading Monday's post I noticed that I neglected to mention a very pertinent point.  Those of us who stalk other people's pictures, whether they be our friends, family or co-workers, are just as bad as the Facebookers who post tons of albums.  What makes us worst, is that we care.  We care to see what others have posted and we care to stalk the people in the background that we don't even know.

We troll through the millions of albums posted and we become familiar with the friends or acquaintances of our friends, most of whom we have never met.  We begin the process with what we see, for example-a trendy girl wearing the latest Halston Heritage top or a cute guy posing w other cuties in University of Miami t-shirts.  Side note: a group of guys in plaid is never worth a second glance.  Anyway, when we click from picture to picture we keep a mental tab of the names and the faces, all the while we know that we don't actually know these people.  But then there comes a point when we begin to confuse Facebook with reality.  That leads us to the infamous question that so many of us have found ourselves asking while we are out: Wait-do I know her or do I know her from Facebook?

How many times have I been out and found myself asking that ridiculous question? The answer is more than I care to mention.  Here's the thing, I don't really feel that bad because I realized I was not the only one to do this (which is also crazy, I know).  We've over-familiarized ourselves with the faces on Facebook that we don't even know and we've genuinely become confused with who we actually have met before and who we have not.

There is something that I find slightly hilarious about this little predicament.  I love the awkwardness that ensues when a friend introduces me to someone that I know I recognize from Facebook.  I politely say hello, when I really want to shout out, "OMG I know you from Facebook you always wear the cutest Pencey dresses." Advice to all: It is never cool to tell someone you don't know you stalk them on Facebook, it will creep them out while showing how big of a dork you are.

So, how do we distinguish the people we know from the ones we know from Facebook? Your guess is as good as mine.  Like you already know, I had to quit Facebook to stop this situation from occuring, and since we already know you aren't going to do that then you better start thinking of something else.  Because if the time comes when you are introduced to someone you only know from Facbeook and you accidently say, "Oh yeah it was just your birthday last week!" and you both realize you only know that information from Facebook then you've outed yourself as a stalker and a dork.

A Facebook Picture Is NOT Worth A Thousand Words

Anything you see on Facebook has to be a portrait of the truth right?  I have to be honest with you, when I was on Facebook anything I saw in pictures was credible in my mind.  Well, we're both wrong and so are the rest of the people who make assumptions based on what they have seen on Facebook.  Like the old saying goes, assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

Recently, a friend of mine who openly admits that she is a Facebook stalker called me and said, "Did you hear that Charlie is dating Jill?"  I told her I had no idea and asked her where she heard it.  Well I should have just guessed because her answer was Facebook.  She said that a friend posted pictures from a birthday party last weekend, and Charlie and Jill were in the background of a picture and it looked like they were talking.  So, let's get something straight, because two people are seen casually conversing in a picture, that makes them a couple?  Not surprisigly, my friend called me back three days later only to say oops she was wrong, Charlie has a girlfriend and it's not Jill.

Therein lies the reason I had to quit Facebook.  We are a generation of oversharers.  We share everything from clothes to food to books to boys to pictures on Facebook.  We find it to be the norm to post pictures in a stupid album titled with the most recent rap lyrics from Lil Wayne.  We let the whole world into our lives on Facebook, one picture at a time.

Now you must be thinking, "But I never post pictures and I still end up tagged on Facebook." Listen friends, let's get real, if you are out and a friend decides to take pictures to document the evening, she is doing it for no other reason than to post the pictures on Facebook and show the world how much fun she is.  My advice to those who truly don't want all the little details of their lives showing up on the book: jump out of a picture when you know the sole purpose of the shooter is to post the picture on Facebook.  Or, I know there are some privacy options, set it up so that the only picture that can be seen of you is your default.  And, if that doesn't work you know what's coming next, quit Fbook!

Ask Peeves

Well it's Friday and as per usual I have something a little different for you today.  Just like my life, most of the conversations I have with friends (and strangers) are completely random (and sometimes very awkward). So, not surprisingly I found myself and a few friends ranting about our pet peeves yesterday. I think we may have went on and on for close to an hour when one friend recommended I post some of them on my blog. So here it is:

Things That Are Annoying Other Than Facebook

• People who take the elevator to the 2nd floor-are you kidding me???????
• People who clap at the end of flights-hello, we were supposed to land!
• Opening up a sandwich only to find it hasn't been cut all the way through.
• Slow walkers on NYC streets-get with it, this is New York.
• People who leave their sweat on the machines at the gym-you're vile, end of story.
• My mother leaving me a voicemail only to say "Hi, call me."
• People who drive under the speed limit in the left lane.
• When I'm hailing a cab and someone jumps 3 ft in front of me and starts hailing a cab.
• People who clap at the end of movies.
• People who argue with the cashier about a coupon granting them $.25 cents off while making the people behind them wait-come on man.
• People who fart in a crowd and think they can get away with it because there are too many people to figure out who it was-once again, you're vile.
• People who talk on the phone in the elevator.
• People who wear Uggs during the summer.
• When my girlfriend calls to tell me about her day when she is already on her way over to my apartment-Why do we need to have a pre-talk? We can talk about your day some time in the next 72 hours that you will be here (this was obviously not mine but I found it hilarious).
• People who try to strike up a conversation with you when you are blatantly in the middle of a phone call.
• Couples who sit next to each other in a booth-I can't even get started with this one.

Off the top of our heads (mine and my friends) those were some of the best and most appropriate that we came up with.  I'd love to know your pet peeves! Please feel free to comment and I will add them to the ever-growing list.  I wish you a peeve-free weekend!

Snookie Vs. Facebook: No Sucker-Punches Allowed

I saw this postcard on Bluntcard.com and it made me laugh!   This lady's got the right idea, resist the temptation to join Facebook and give Snookie something else to cry about.  Facebook and Snookie actually have a few things in common.  Our obsession with all things stupid has reached a new high, or low rather when it comes to Jersey Shore.  I thought our obsession with Facebook was out of control, but when it comes to Jersey Shore I'm just downright concerned with the country's mental health.  After some careful comparisons I've come up with some similarities between our obsessions with the utter nonsense that is Facebook and Jersey Shore:

1. We view both compulsively, enthralled by people we don't know at all.

2. We seek them out to entertain us when we are bored when we could (or should) be doing way more productive things with our time.

3. We refer to them (and by them I mean Facebook and Jersey Shore characters) in conversations with friends, family members, lovers, co-workers etc, yet they play no real role in our lives.

4. They're both making a ton of cheddar off our obsession with them.

5. Last but certainly not least, they both are slightly addicting and they will both rot your brain.

I must admit, I've only watched the Jersey Shore once, but it was more than enough to know I never need to see it again.  Maybe I'm missing something, but I doubt it.  This is after all coming from a self-proclaimed Facebook stalker.  I'm sure if there is something ridiculous to become obsessed with it's most likely that I would be.

No Tag Line Necessary

Your friend is celebrating her birthday this weekend and you're invited.  Although you don't actually speak to her about it, you do get a Facebook invite telling you you've been invited.  Clearly, we're too old to send out invitations to our birthday parties in the mail (although I did love my barbie invite circa 1993 and secretly wish I could still send it out today), but we don't find anything wrong with sending out an inviation on Facebook.  We think if we cook up a clever tag line, give the event a witty name and simply state that it's just another excuse to drink, it makes it all alright.

A few scenarios unfold from deciding to attend an event on Facebook.  Scenario uno: You see who is attending the event and you decide whether or not go go based on who you see.  So, what you're really saying is, "I don't really care that Jason is turning 28, his sister will be there and she's recently single."  That's right, the boy decides he wants to attend because a girl he may or may not hookup with is going to be there.  News flash: just because you're stalking her down and showing up at the party she is attending does not mean you are going to take the girl home.

Scenario dos: You neg an invite because you're just not in the mood to go out.  That translates to, "It's all the way on the upper west side and I already sang with the rest of em at work today, not going to happen."  Who cares, it's only your co-worker, right? Wrong! You spend nearly 40 hours a week with this person and you've sobbed to them about your boring love life, your shoe-box sized apartment and the fact that even though you work out every day you still can't seem to lose those last 7 lbs.  Be a decent human and show your face, if only for one drink, that's still better than being a no-show.

Lastly, we have scenario tres: The open invitation.  This means that although you may not have been invited to attend, the invitation can be viewed by all 400,000,000 members of Facebook.  Awesome, I'm sure you really wanted that random russian man who moved in next door to you and smells like cheeze whiz to come crash your party.  Or how about your younger sister's 19 year old ex-boyfriend who puked on your shoes at last year's birthday bash? He was obviously not invited this year, but the invitation is open to the public, which means, he's showing up so watch your shoes.

Facebook has given people a false sense of intimacy.  Sending an invite to 372 people on a social networking website does not bode well with me.  So here's the bottom line:  Next time you decide to have a birthday party (which I also can't believe we still have to do, but I can't get started with that now) try calling your "intimate" friends and inviting them.  Yes, that means you have to dial their phone numbers and use your voice but I know you can do it.  No tag line necessary, just a simple, "I'm having a party, I'd love it if you could come," should work just fine.  And if that doesn't work just mention there will be a ton of single people, that ought to seal the deal.