All Work And No Facebook Makes Johnny...Productive!

It's 10:31, you're sitting at your desk and you're already bored.  You've only been at work for an hour and a half and you can't wait for your lunch break.  You downed your coffee and you've already gone to the bathroom 3 times.  Chop't sounds so delicious right now, why can't lunch be at 11:00 AM?

You continue to stare blankly at your computer thinking of all the daunting tasks you should be taking care of, but instead you decide maybe you should waste some time and take a little peak at what's doing on Facebook this morning.  You sign in and see that nothing has changed on Facebook since you last checked before going to bed last night, and the next thing you know it's 11:46 and you have done absolutely nothing your supervisor has asked you to do this morning.   Oops, looks like another day off to an unproductive start.

It's no mystery why most companies block employees from using Facebook at work.  When you should be compiling data, writing a report or doing whatever it is that you do, you're busy browsing through pictures of last night's charity event or writing happy birthday wall posts on the walls of the 6 people whose birthday it is today.  Looks to me like once again, Facebook is impeding productivity in yet another area of life.

People seem to be making blunder after blunder when it comes to Facebook in the workplace.  Employers also use Facebook to monitor their employees.  You would think that people know not to post on their Facebook accounts g that would get them fired , but I guess some people are just dumb.  Sorry if that seems harsh but my friend told me a story that left me speechless.  He told me that his co-worker called into work claiming she was sick.  A few hours later, someone noticed that that same co-worker posted a status saying, "Nicest day ever! At the beach!!"  Two words: You're fired! That's right, the girl was canned immediately.

Since you can't cut yourself off from the book, have no fear, your boss will do it for you.  Your probably annoyed about it, but you just might get some work done from now on.  Ok, so you can't stalk but you may actually be eligible for a bonus this year.  Seems like a pretty good trade-off, no?

Dear Facebook, Thanks For All Your Help

We all know about consequences of Facebook in the workplace.  People post inappropriate pictures and comments and it sometimes ultimately leads to a firing.  Sucks for you, but you should have been more discrete.

A friend of mine works at a sleep away camp in New Hampshire and recently received the email  below from the Directors of the camp.  Just a friendly reminder that what happens at camp, does not always (or never) stay at camp. 

An Open letter to the staff of Bobcat Hills North:

Okay - try and picture this – 90 days from today, at approximately 1:30 in the afternoon, we are all going to be standing in the center of camp as the coach buses slowly make their way around the circle. We will be clapping and cheering the campers in as we set off on this summer journey together  and finally the summer of 2010 will have officially begun...

We will get the campers settled in, find the missing duffels, run lice check and swim testing and hold the opening ceremonies. The staff and campers will settle into their routines, which include letter writing and phone calls. One thing our campers tend to do is rave about their favorite counselors and staff members and our parents then promptly Google them…..

And there in lies the problem…. There is a good chance that during one of our morning meetings, most likely toward the start of second month of camp, I will make you all aware of a conversation I have had with a  parent who is delighted with us and the care that we have provided and how much their child has grown and what a fantastic time they are having with us.  Our camper has bonded with the staff so that they now want to make them their friend on Facebook …And they will soon  know that our staff curses, drinks and smokes and does other things they really did not want their child to know about just yet...

As we are role models for our campers, we need to make sure our Facebook accounts mirror the image we are portraying in camp. Our parents want to know who is taking care of their child when they are not there and what the person is really all about when they are not at camp.

We need you all to really clamp down your privacy settings on Facebook, for those of you that are “Friends” with campers.  We strongly encourage you to place all campers in a “limited profile” and then customize your privacy settings, so campers cannot see your photo albums from nights out or days off or parties you have attended in the off season. If you use inappropriate language or have inappropriate conversations for campers to see, customize your wall privacy setting. Ditto for Posts and who may comment on your Posts. Some of our counselor and leadership team in the past have made their campers, their “siblings” on their page. We kindly ask that you do not do this and if you currently have campers listed as siblings, please remove them.

We appreciate your cooperation in helping us remove any sense of improper behavior and giving our camp parents the utmost trust in us.

A Perfect Example Of What's Wrong With America

Need I say more?

The Girl's Book Review

You may have noticed that I have a new little widget on the blog.  If you haven't seen it it's on the bottom right corner of the page.  I'll admit it, I joined a new social network.  It's called Shelfari and I'm a little bit obsessed.

Basically, it's a social network for readers.  You create a book shelf with all the books you've read and you can write a review or rate each book for other readers to see.  You make friends with other readers (in my case, just people I know in real life) and see what they have read and recommended. I am an avid reader, so this site is perfect for me.  It might sound really dorky, but I don't care.  If you enjoy reading definitely try this site: Shelfari.com.  If you aren't so into the social networking for book lovers but still enjoy a good book every now and again, below are some books I have read recently and loved.  Enjoy!

The Alchemist

The Attack

The Book Thief

The Distant Land of My Father

Eat Pray Love

The Fountainhead

The Help

Sarah's Key

Now for the run down of my little list. The Alchemist and The Fountainhead put me back on track in life.  At some point in your life, you really should read both.  Eat Pray Love will fill your soul and make you hungry.  The Attack is a quick and very good read.  I absolutely loved the Book Thief, be prepared for a cry.  I loved the story in The Help, one of my faves.  Sarah's Key is a riveting story that like the Book Thief, may very well bring you to tears. And last but not least, The Distand Land Of My Father.  Another great story! Hope you enjoyed my bang up book review.  

Faceburglary

Well, I can't say I'm surprised.  Facebook burglary happens to be pretty common these days.  It's really not hard to figure out way either.  If you post a status saying, "Aruba for the next 7 days!!" what do you think is going to happen? Your personal network of 1,987 friends is going to be super excited for you? I think not.  It's more likely that at least 1 of the 1,987 people that don't really know you is now thinking that your house is a great target for a burglary.  You may as well post a note on your front door saying, "Rob me please!"

Unfortunately for the couple in the video, their house was burglarized due to a status they posted on Facebook saying they would be out for the evening seeing a concert.  I get it, concerts are exciting, but maybe you don't need to tell the whole world you are going.

On a different note, I can't actually believe that almost everyday there is a clip about Facebook on all of the popular news networks. Is that weird or no?

Please Take A Moment

Five  years ago today a close friend and amazing person passed away.  He is missed everyday by those who knew him and loved him. "To know him is to love him," are perfect words for my friend Grant.  To make a donation in honor of my friend Grant, please go to https://secure.wish.org/ourfriends/010-000/honorgrant.htm
Always in our hearts, G-money.

This Is Your Pilot Speaking: You are now free to stalk about the cabin

Pardon my absence the last few days, but it's a little hard to function, let alone write a blog after spending a weekend with your soon-to-be married best friend and 11 other girls.  While I was in Miami having the best weekend ever, I made an observation that I felt I needed to share.

It all started at 8:00 AM friday morning.  As we boarded the airplane a stewardist welcomed us aboard with a shining smile and a hairdo that screamed "Help! I'm stuck in 1980."  She then gave us a little ticket with instructions on how to use the aircraft's free Wi-Fi. Wi-fi on an airplane? When did this happen? Did I miss something? Whether I'm out of the loop or not, I thought to myself, "this is a disaster waiting to happen."

After taking off and cruising at a safe altitude of 11,000 ft the captain announced that we were welcome to go ahead and wi-fi our little hearts out.  Personally, I find no reason to bring my laptop with me when I take a vacation, especially to Miami.  However, that didn't stop the rest of the plane from lighting up, literally, the backlights of the computer started to shine from all over the plane.  And to my amusement, guess what people where doing on their computer as they were flying. That's right, they were stalking.

As I checked out the 4 row radius from my aisle seat, I noticed that more than half the passengers who were on their computers were dilly-dallying on Facebook! I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, I mean what else would you be doing on a 2 hour flight to Miami at 8:00 AM?  We can't bring something as simple as face moisturizer (it's very important, I get very dry skin when I fly) on the plane, but we can now access a 400,000,000 person social network? That's definitely not dangerous at all.

When you take a vacation somewhere isn't the point to get away?  Get away from the mundane routine of Monday-Friday, the cold weather, and everything else that drags you down in the winter.  If you really want to get away, don't stay connected with Facebook.

p.s. I'm adding two must have songs to the weekend's play list:
Memories by David Guetta ft Kid Cudi
Daylight by Matt and Kim

Weekend Playlist

Well, I'm off to Miami for the weekend for my best friend's bachelorette party and I couldn't be more excited.  The first thing I do prior to flying is make a weekend playlist.  Since, it's going to be a glorious weekend in NY as well as Miami I figured I would share the top ten songs off my weekend playlist with you.   It's a bit eclectic, but that's just how I like it.  Hope you enjoy and have a sunny weekend!

My Best Friend's Bachelorette Party Weekend In Miami Playlist

Animal by Neon Trees

Rockband by Usher

Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha

Be ok by Ingrid Michaelson

Somersault by Zero 7

Luminous Girl by Mike Doughty

Little Secrets by Passion Pit

Let the beat build by Lil Wayne

Sweet Disposition by Temper Trap

Praise You  by Fat Boy Slim

Mafia Wars: More than just a Facebook game

Well, here's a crazy story for ya.  I used to think the primary use of Facebook was for scorned lovers to catch their cheating significant others. Now, if you want to catch a criminal, just sign into Facebook.  One of Italy's most dangerous Mafia members, Pasquale Manfredi, was arrested yesterday after blowing his location due to a Facebook chat.  For a mafia member, I would have thought this guy would have been a bit smoother.  Anyway, Manfredi decided in the midst of all the chaos that is his Mafia life, he should sign into Facebook and chat it up with some friends.  It didn't take long for the FEDs to track his location and arrest him.  Rumor has it he was playing Mafia Wars on Facebook at the time. Ok, that's a lie, I made that up, but at this point who knows what he was actually doing on there.

15 Minutes

Exciting news today! For all of you who don't already know, I was recently interviewed for an article in the Boston Herald about quitting Facebook.  The article ran in the paper yesterday and I am posting it for all to see today.  If you can't already tell I'm soooooooo excited!! And I owe a special thanks to Jaymie Presberg for making this all happen!  Please click the link  below to check out the article!

Here's a news feed: Some users breaking up with facebook

Let Me Make A Point, Not A Poke

My friend Nick sent me this video and I literally almost peed in my pants.  It might sound a little bit weird when I say this (then again what doesn't), but that man reminds me of me.  He's a little bit more liberal with the "F" word but he raises some damn good points.

Point Number 1:  Getting a request to take a Facebook Quiz is not only annoying but it is utterly riduclous.  Like the gentleman in the video points out, why the hell would I care what Muppet Baby I would be or any other absurd crap like that? You want to  know my favorite donut flavor or what color makes me happy? Unless you plan on sending me a box of French Crullers with a blue ribbon on top don't bother asking.

Point Number 2: I have mentioned it before and I will say it again, if you are over the age of 22 (I'm being generous and allowing college students to still be dorky) don't ever poke someone, ever.  A poke isn't cool in real life, why would it all of a sudden be cool on Facebook? It's not cute and in fact it just shows that you are too much of a coward to actually reach out in a real way and make physical if not verbal contact.

Point Number 3: I'm not your fan in real life and I won't become a fan on Facebook.  What gave you the impression that I would want to become a fan of Mikey Moo's Milkshakery?  Maybe if you gave me the chance to discover Mikey's I would actually consider trying it and probably liking it, because who doesn't love a milkshake? But, since you've bombarded me with Fan requests not only would I have to decline but I would avoid Mikey's at all cost.  Great job!

This video was not only funny but very helpful in pointing out the things that drove me crazy when I was a Facebooker.  Don't lie, you know you can relate. And if you're one of those pokers, or quiz senders, just remember, it's never too late to quit!

Baby Are You Down, Down, Down, Down, Down

Ok-My internet is down (hence the title of this blog) so I'm comin to you live from my Blackberry! It would be ridiculous for me to post an entire blog right now but I do have some funny stuff waiting in the wings. Feel free to amuse yourself for the time being. Post some comments or send me whatever you'd like at thegirlwhoquit@gmail.com and I'll try my best to post from my phone. Until my internet goes back up, have a terrific day and keep checking back for an update!

Ask And You Shall Re-Peeve

  Part 2 of Things That Are Annoying Other Than Facebook

• People who fill their back window of their car with stuffed animals-flat out creepy.  
• When my grandpa picks his teeth with a business card or any object he can physically fit in between his teeth-trust me, it's just as gross as it sounds.
• Couples who put you on speakerphone-thanks for reminding me why I never want to call you.
• People who cut you off on the highway only to slow down once they are in front of you.
• People who BBM or text with others while you are currently engaged in a conversation with them.
• People who pretend to wash their hands in public bathrooms so that others think they are sanitary when in fact they are not.
• People who make excessively loud noise on their motorcycles and scare the crap out of the people around them-according to my friend Cheryl it should be illegal!
• Cars with bumper stickers that read, "My Child is High School Honor Student!"-p.s-no one cares.
• Dogs dressed as people-another really creepy one.
• Speaking of dogs-people who don't clean up their dog crap on NYC streets-I mean that's just disgusting.
• People who crack their gum.
• People who say "just kidding" after they have insulted you when you know they really mean it.
• Men who wear skinny jeans-it just kinda freaks me out if I see a guy wearing the same size jeans as me.
• People who spell their, there, and they're wrong-hello, we learned this when we were 7.
• People who eat tuna fish on an airplane-ugh, puke.

Well, those are all the peeves I could come up with today. I'm finding that as life goes on, my list of peeves only gets longer. Don't get me wrong,  there are a lot of things that don't annoy me.  But as my sister's boyfriend says, I am a bit intolerant.  Have a great weekend, and try to stay dry!!

Help Wanted

Hey Friends-
I've had such an overwhelming response (in a good way) to the Peeves blog last week that I figured I'd give it another go.  Tomorrow I will once again be posting things that annoy me other than facebook, and I would love to know what annoys you.  It can be absolutely anything, the funnier the better.  Ask your friends, ask your mom, ask your Rabbi of Priest, I don't care, ask everyone you know what their pet peeves are. Please send me an email at thegirlwhoquit@gmail.com with any pet peeves you come up with! Can't wait to read them

xoxo
The Girl

This Is Not A Pickup Line: Do I Know You From Somewhere?

After re-reading Monday's post I noticed that I neglected to mention a very pertinent point.  Those of us who stalk other people's pictures, whether they be our friends, family or co-workers, are just as bad as the Facebookers who post tons of albums.  What makes us worst, is that we care.  We care to see what others have posted and we care to stalk the people in the background that we don't even know.

We troll through the millions of albums posted and we become familiar with the friends or acquaintances of our friends, most of whom we have never met.  We begin the process with what we see, for example-a trendy girl wearing the latest Halston Heritage top or a cute guy posing w other cuties in University of Miami t-shirts.  Side note: a group of guys in plaid is never worth a second glance.  Anyway, when we click from picture to picture we keep a mental tab of the names and the faces, all the while we know that we don't actually know these people.  But then there comes a point when we begin to confuse Facebook with reality.  That leads us to the infamous question that so many of us have found ourselves asking while we are out: Wait-do I know her or do I know her from Facebook?

How many times have I been out and found myself asking that ridiculous question? The answer is more than I care to mention.  Here's the thing, I don't really feel that bad because I realized I was not the only one to do this (which is also crazy, I know).  We've over-familiarized ourselves with the faces on Facebook that we don't even know and we've genuinely become confused with who we actually have met before and who we have not.

There is something that I find slightly hilarious about this little predicament.  I love the awkwardness that ensues when a friend introduces me to someone that I know I recognize from Facebook.  I politely say hello, when I really want to shout out, "OMG I know you from Facebook you always wear the cutest Pencey dresses." Advice to all: It is never cool to tell someone you don't know you stalk them on Facebook, it will creep them out while showing how big of a dork you are.

So, how do we distinguish the people we know from the ones we know from Facebook? Your guess is as good as mine.  Like you already know, I had to quit Facebook to stop this situation from occuring, and since we already know you aren't going to do that then you better start thinking of something else.  Because if the time comes when you are introduced to someone you only know from Facbeook and you accidently say, "Oh yeah it was just your birthday last week!" and you both realize you only know that information from Facebook then you've outed yourself as a stalker and a dork.

A Facebook Picture Is NOT Worth A Thousand Words

Anything you see on Facebook has to be a portrait of the truth right?  I have to be honest with you, when I was on Facebook anything I saw in pictures was credible in my mind.  Well, we're both wrong and so are the rest of the people who make assumptions based on what they have seen on Facebook.  Like the old saying goes, assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

Recently, a friend of mine who openly admits that she is a Facebook stalker called me and said, "Did you hear that Charlie is dating Jill?"  I told her I had no idea and asked her where she heard it.  Well I should have just guessed because her answer was Facebook.  She said that a friend posted pictures from a birthday party last weekend, and Charlie and Jill were in the background of a picture and it looked like they were talking.  So, let's get something straight, because two people are seen casually conversing in a picture, that makes them a couple?  Not surprisigly, my friend called me back three days later only to say oops she was wrong, Charlie has a girlfriend and it's not Jill.

Therein lies the reason I had to quit Facebook.  We are a generation of oversharers.  We share everything from clothes to food to books to boys to pictures on Facebook.  We find it to be the norm to post pictures in a stupid album titled with the most recent rap lyrics from Lil Wayne.  We let the whole world into our lives on Facebook, one picture at a time.

Now you must be thinking, "But I never post pictures and I still end up tagged on Facebook." Listen friends, let's get real, if you are out and a friend decides to take pictures to document the evening, she is doing it for no other reason than to post the pictures on Facebook and show the world how much fun she is.  My advice to those who truly don't want all the little details of their lives showing up on the book: jump out of a picture when you know the sole purpose of the shooter is to post the picture on Facebook.  Or, I know there are some privacy options, set it up so that the only picture that can be seen of you is your default.  And, if that doesn't work you know what's coming next, quit Fbook!

Ask Peeves

Well it's Friday and as per usual I have something a little different for you today.  Just like my life, most of the conversations I have with friends (and strangers) are completely random (and sometimes very awkward). So, not surprisingly I found myself and a few friends ranting about our pet peeves yesterday. I think we may have went on and on for close to an hour when one friend recommended I post some of them on my blog. So here it is:

Things That Are Annoying Other Than Facebook

• People who take the elevator to the 2nd floor-are you kidding me???????
• People who clap at the end of flights-hello, we were supposed to land!
• Opening up a sandwich only to find it hasn't been cut all the way through.
• Slow walkers on NYC streets-get with it, this is New York.
• People who leave their sweat on the machines at the gym-you're vile, end of story.
• My mother leaving me a voicemail only to say "Hi, call me."
• People who drive under the speed limit in the left lane.
• When I'm hailing a cab and someone jumps 3 ft in front of me and starts hailing a cab.
• People who clap at the end of movies.
• People who argue with the cashier about a coupon granting them $.25 cents off while making the people behind them wait-come on man.
• People who fart in a crowd and think they can get away with it because there are too many people to figure out who it was-once again, you're vile.
• People who talk on the phone in the elevator.
• People who wear Uggs during the summer.
• When my girlfriend calls to tell me about her day when she is already on her way over to my apartment-Why do we need to have a pre-talk? We can talk about your day some time in the next 72 hours that you will be here (this was obviously not mine but I found it hilarious).
• People who try to strike up a conversation with you when you are blatantly in the middle of a phone call.
• Couples who sit next to each other in a booth-I can't even get started with this one.

Off the top of our heads (mine and my friends) those were some of the best and most appropriate that we came up with.  I'd love to know your pet peeves! Please feel free to comment and I will add them to the ever-growing list.  I wish you a peeve-free weekend!

Snookie Vs. Facebook: No Sucker-Punches Allowed

I saw this postcard on Bluntcard.com and it made me laugh!   This lady's got the right idea, resist the temptation to join Facebook and give Snookie something else to cry about.  Facebook and Snookie actually have a few things in common.  Our obsession with all things stupid has reached a new high, or low rather when it comes to Jersey Shore.  I thought our obsession with Facebook was out of control, but when it comes to Jersey Shore I'm just downright concerned with the country's mental health.  After some careful comparisons I've come up with some similarities between our obsessions with the utter nonsense that is Facebook and Jersey Shore:

1. We view both compulsively, enthralled by people we don't know at all.

2. We seek them out to entertain us when we are bored when we could (or should) be doing way more productive things with our time.

3. We refer to them (and by them I mean Facebook and Jersey Shore characters) in conversations with friends, family members, lovers, co-workers etc, yet they play no real role in our lives.

4. They're both making a ton of cheddar off our obsession with them.

5. Last but certainly not least, they both are slightly addicting and they will both rot your brain.

I must admit, I've only watched the Jersey Shore once, but it was more than enough to know I never need to see it again.  Maybe I'm missing something, but I doubt it.  This is after all coming from a self-proclaimed Facebook stalker.  I'm sure if there is something ridiculous to become obsessed with it's most likely that I would be.

No Tag Line Necessary

Your friend is celebrating her birthday this weekend and you're invited.  Although you don't actually speak to her about it, you do get a Facebook invite telling you you've been invited.  Clearly, we're too old to send out invitations to our birthday parties in the mail (although I did love my barbie invite circa 1993 and secretly wish I could still send it out today), but we don't find anything wrong with sending out an inviation on Facebook.  We think if we cook up a clever tag line, give the event a witty name and simply state that it's just another excuse to drink, it makes it all alright.

A few scenarios unfold from deciding to attend an event on Facebook.  Scenario uno: You see who is attending the event and you decide whether or not go go based on who you see.  So, what you're really saying is, "I don't really care that Jason is turning 28, his sister will be there and she's recently single."  That's right, the boy decides he wants to attend because a girl he may or may not hookup with is going to be there.  News flash: just because you're stalking her down and showing up at the party she is attending does not mean you are going to take the girl home.

Scenario dos: You neg an invite because you're just not in the mood to go out.  That translates to, "It's all the way on the upper west side and I already sang with the rest of em at work today, not going to happen."  Who cares, it's only your co-worker, right? Wrong! You spend nearly 40 hours a week with this person and you've sobbed to them about your boring love life, your shoe-box sized apartment and the fact that even though you work out every day you still can't seem to lose those last 7 lbs.  Be a decent human and show your face, if only for one drink, that's still better than being a no-show.

Lastly, we have scenario tres: The open invitation.  This means that although you may not have been invited to attend, the invitation can be viewed by all 400,000,000 members of Facebook.  Awesome, I'm sure you really wanted that random russian man who moved in next door to you and smells like cheeze whiz to come crash your party.  Or how about your younger sister's 19 year old ex-boyfriend who puked on your shoes at last year's birthday bash? He was obviously not invited this year, but the invitation is open to the public, which means, he's showing up so watch your shoes.

Facebook has given people a false sense of intimacy.  Sending an invite to 372 people on a social networking website does not bode well with me.  So here's the bottom line:  Next time you decide to have a birthday party (which I also can't believe we still have to do, but I can't get started with that now) try calling your "intimate" friends and inviting them.  Yes, that means you have to dial their phone numbers and use your voice but I know you can do it.  No tag line necessary, just a simple, "I'm having a party, I'd love it if you could come," should work just fine.  And if that doesn't work just mention there will be a ton of single people, that ought to seal the deal.