The Girl's Week In Review

In the Jewish religion, Friday evening begins the Sabbath, which is the day of rest (I really hope I'm right about this, don't fault me, I was a Hebrew School drop-out).  In The Girl's world, Friday is the day of rest from talking about Facebook.  On Friday's I like to kick back and recap the awesome week I had (look at that Blakie, I'm so positive).  You can say it, I'm a movie-watching, book-loving, restaurant-dining freak.

So here it is, my week in review.  Had dinner with family at Parkside, or more specifically, I enjoyed some mushroom ravioli in a truffle and mushroom sauce (beyond delicious, don't be scared, make the trip to Queens, it's more than worth it), watched Inglorious Basterds, finished Scottsboro (took a few pages, but once I got into it I was hooked), started reading Unfinished Desires (ew, perv, get your head out of the gutter), had the most fun dinner with friends I've had since Elementary School at Poke (sushi was fresh and delicious, and the company was even better), downloaded some new tunes, tried to convince myself of reasons I "need" the iPad (zero reasons came to mind), went out for the Everything Camper Launch Party, searched for Alicia Keys tix (still too pricey), watched the Lost recap and started my countdown, bought new sunglasses (I couldn't help it, it was such an impulse buy, they were calling my name), caught up on Big Love episodes (completely addicted), and forgot to watch The State Of The Union (oops).

Ok, so yeah, due to unemployment, I've got tons of time to eat, sleep, and read.  And yeah, food is always the highlight of my week, but I'd much rather be eating than stalking someone I've never even spoken to. Have a great weekend and eat something delicious for me, it will take your mind off "the book"!

The Boy Who Quit...Or Just Never Joined

Did you know that the vast majority (I tried to find the number exactly, but it was nowhere to be found) of Americans do not follow directions? Therefore, I was forced to put the directions up here (and in caps, brutal, I know):  PLEASE CLICK TO THE 6:24 MARK 

My friend Lindsay was watching Oprah and noticed that the girl who wanted to be set up wanted to find a man that doesn't have a Facebook page (if you followed the directions and started at the 6:24 mark, you would notice that, too).  Let's just put this out there right away, the girl in the video is a little bit nuts.  Her list of qualities in an ideal man is actually insane and I didn't even know people thought about those things! But what is it that she finds appealing about a man that isn't on Facebook?

Lindsay and I debated this for a little while and we came up with quite a few things.  First off, a man without a Facebook page is definitely a rarity, and I'd even go as far as saying that they are old-fashioned, which is a good thing.  They aren't trolling for girls on the internet, and they are not just taking the easy way out and talking to girls through Facebook, they actually have to pick up the phone and make a phone call (can you imagine??).  They aren't so vain that they have to post millions of pictures of themselves as advertisements.  Best of all, they don't have tons of pictures with their ex-girlfriends.  No having to question if she was pretty, or if she was fun, or if they loved each other etc.  Most importantly, any guy without a Facebook page exudes a sort of confidence from their nonconformist attitude.  I dig it.

My point is, finding a man without a Facebook page is like finding a $10 in your pocket.  It might seem like a really small thing, but you're still really excited when you find it!

Think Outside The Box

A friend sent me this Facebook Bingo Game and I had to post it! It's not so much that I think people would actually play this game, but take a look at all the boxes in it.  Whoever created this game was dead-on accurate.

We've got all our faves on here, or at least I do.  Let's see, there's "A Poke From A Dude," girls, I know you can all relate to the persistant and annoying poker that thinks just by sending us a poke we would be inclined to go out with him.  One-we aren't going to go out with you, and two-I know you think you're being cute by poking us, but it's never cute, ever.  Then there's "Relationship Drama Played Out Via Status Updates," cause that's always the classiest way to go, air your dirty details out on Facebook, fun for all involved.  I also like "An Urgent Untag." Tell me why our friends who claim they are our friends tag us in the most heinous pictures of all time? Everyone takes a bad photo every now and then, no need to show the world  how unphotogenic we are.

I'd have to say my personal favorite is "Friend Request From A Stranger." More often than not it's a guy.  You decline his request but he keeps on trying.  He follows up with a personal message saying, "Why don't you want to be my friend?" Here's a thought buddy, because I don't even know you and I already find you extremely creepy.  Tip of the day, if you can find yourself in one of those boxes, you may need to take some time apart from Facebook.  Just a thought...

Hear No Facebook, See No Facebook, Speak No Facebook

Even though I'm the girl who quit, please don't think I'm a quitter when I say the following: I've decided to scrap "Three Things I Don't Miss About Facebook." The truth is, there are a million things I don't miss about it. I honestly thought the withdrawal was going to be so much worse.  I thought I was going to have late night cravings, the same way I crave cheese fries. But let's get real, I could never give up cheese fries.

Anyway, this weekend when I was out, I kept getting the same questions over and over again, "how did you do it?" or "OMG, it must be so hard, are you dying?" or "I could never quit, don't you miss it?" The answer is, I feel the same way the three little monkeys do.  Of course they were talking about evil, and although I'd be going too far if I said Facebook was evil, I can say it doesn't bring out the best in people.  Now, I know you're saying to yourself, "But she is still speaking about Facebook." You are correct, but what I mean is, if I'm not on Facebook to "Hear" gossip, and "See" pictures, then I no longer can "Speak" about it or people on it for that matter. Hence, Hear No Facebook, See No Facebook, Speak No Facebook. Make sense?

I won't lie, at times I do feel out of the loop.  I was always the one that my friends would go to if they needed, let's say "information" about someone.  One might say I was good at stalking, or as I liked to say, I always thought I would make a great P.I.  However, the amount of people that talk about facebook on a daily basis are keeping me in the loop, anyway.  For example, my mother (who doesn't have her own Facebook account, and is certainly a topic I'd like to touch on at a later date) constantly says things like, "Oh, did you know Alli is in Israel?" and "Hey, are you going to Jessica's party this weekend?" At first I'm always confused as to how she knows these things and then I realize, Facebook. I've come to learn, all mothers do this, they just don't speak about it. Or how about the New York Times (who are we kidding, I'm strictly a Sunday Times girl)? I rarely get through an article these days without there being a mention of Facebook or some other social network. I've come to wonder, is Facebook inescapable?

I guess if I wasn't The Girl Who Quit, maybe my connection to Facebook would be minimal, but I can assure you, there would still be some sort of connection.  And, I like it this way, because I can still share the things that are really important, such as, my extreme disappointment that the Vikings lost (although I can't figure out when I became such a Vikings fan, maybe it's my brother's obsession with Adrian Peterson) or that I just started the book Scarsboro and am struggling to get into it. Or, that when I'm done writing this blog, I'm going to Crumbs to get myself the Elvis Cupcake (vanilla cake with peanut butter and banana in the middle and banana cream cheese frosting, heaven).  Anyway, better get back to applying for jobs, because clearly that seems to be working out real well. Try and have yourself a pleasant Monday, or just get a cupcake, I promise, a sugar high always helps.

Let Me Let Me Upgrade Ya

Ok, let's just say it, how amazing is the new logo of The Girl?  I know it seems crazy, but I'm actually in love.  Can you be in love with a logo? Because I'm telling you right now that I am.  The amazing and talented Danielle Becker designed and created the new logo and I am obsessed!  Come on girls, check The Girl out, the headband, the bangles, the buckles of her shoes, the skinny ankles (don't lie, I'm not the only one who noticed that), the inner lining of her dress, this girl is perfection!! Is it crazy that I want to be her? Ok, it's a little bit crazy, but she's just so adorable!

Anyway, thanks again to Danielle, I am forever grateful! Please feel free to contact me for her info.  Hope you enjoy the upgraded Girl!!

The Life And Times Of The Facebook-Free Girl

In high school, we had “R” days and “W” days to signify different scheduling on different days.  The principal would announce what letter day it was on the loudspeaker, and I think everyone I went to high school with can attest to their favorite day being a “W” day just because of the way the principle announced the letter W (daable-you).  Anyway, I’ve decided that in my life, today is a “Facebook-Free” day.  No complaints, no gripes, no probing into my own life about my obsession with the social network (plus, my friend told me she likes when I post postive posts, so this is for you, Blakie).  My “Facebook-Free” day is solely dedicated to sharing the recent goings-on in my life.

So here is what I did in the last week instead of wasting my precious time on Facebook: Ate a pastrami sandwich at Katz's Deli (all I can say is, a-mazingggg, and quite possibly, the highlight of my week), watched the Jets destroy the Chargers (way to go Nate Keading), read Sarah’s Key and The Glass Castle (I highly recommend both), currently reading Committed (ehh, not so much what I expected), applied for 12 jobs, wrote some blogs, went out with friends, ordered underwear online (it’s such a guilty pleasure), attempted to see Avatar (sold-out, waaaa) got a haircut (a “sharp dusting” as Denise likes to say), read the Sunday Times, babysat, met friends for dinner at Malatesta (yummy and cheap, a must), caught up with an old high school friend, watched Pineapple Express and ate pineapple (not at the same time, but the pineapple was delicious).

 If it sounds to you like all I did was eat, read, and hang out with friends, than for the most part you are correct, but that to me is a real social network. The real thing is always so much better, I can promise you that.

Current Events by The Girl

Remember in 4^th grade when you’d have to scan the newspaper and bring in a “Current Events” article?  I sure do, I always dreaded it.  I just could never find an article that I liked, or really one that I
understood.  I mean, it was 4^th grade, what did I know about the world??? My mom liked to say that because I had a late birthday (November) in the grade, I was at a disadvantage and had a harder time than the rest of the appropriate aged kids.  It was a nice way of saying, "you’ll catch up someday."  Well apparently at 25, that day has come.  I finally caught up and find myself perusing the internet for stories about Facebook and then summarizing them for the rest of the world to see.  For some reason, I’m under the impression that you care about what I’ve found.  If you do, take a look, if not, [insert rude comment that I am currently thinking, but do not want to say, here].

The Office Ninja

I came across this article and had myself a little chuckle.  I don’t know this man, but I certainly can relate to him.  He writes about his personal struggle with breaking the addiction to the internet and social networking sites.  His goal is to clear all the distractions of the internet from his daily work environment in order to strive and become what he calls, an “office ninja.”  I’m not going to lie, the title of the article kind of scared me, but I decided to take a look.  Its called, The Internet Ruined My Life by Pat Regnier, be sure to check it out.  

Face1N1

Now this article, Facebook App Fights Flu is a really doozy.  My first thought after reading this was, “are you kidding me?’ Here’s the gist: There’s a new application out called “I’m a Flu Fighter!” (I can almost see a little kid calling himself a flu fighter while pouncing on the jungle gym with one hand in his mouth and another wiping snot on the poor kid next to him).  The purpose of the app is for people to tell their friends they got the H1N1/seasonal flu vaccine and encourage them to do the same.  Here’s a thought, how bout you just get the flu shot and call your friend and tell him to get one too. No? I just don’t buy the fact that an application is going to ward off the flu by just telling people to take the proper precautions.  I’m pretty sure Brian Williams is doing a pretty good job of scaring the crap out of people nightly with the widespread severity of the flu.  Watch your local news, and wash your hands and you’ll be good to go.


And We All Laughed At Bush
This article is by far my favorite.  No summary really necessary, just click for yourself and see.  The title kind of gives it away, New Croatia President Has Facebook Problems.  If this is Croatia's biggest problem, we should all move there asap!

I hope I did Mrs. Curran proud. And Mom, even though I couldn't string the beads as fast at the other kids in Kindergarten, there's nothing wrong with being a late bloomer!

Facebook For Crackberry

I came across  this little cartoon and laughed as I thought to myself, “well, that stupid mannequin clearly doesn’t have Facebook for Blackberry.” Stupid me is more like it.  Downloading Facebook on my Blackberry was definitely one of my downfalls in life (I know Melissa, not my all time worst but it's up there).  As if BBM and texting hadn’t taken over my life already, now I was adding something else to make my phone vibrate to no end and annoy the crap out of my present company, whom I probably stopped paying attention to because my phone wouldn’t shut the f up. I could have been at the movies, at my job (when I had one), in school, at the dentist (in the waiting room, come on, I'm not that idiotic), or anywhere, when that phone went off I was picking it up to check the nonsense.*

I’d just like to take a second to say, to whomever I was with when the little red light on my phone blinked incessantly, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that I chose Facebook over you.  I’m sorry that I needed to know that Ava wrote on Jenna’s wall and that Lisa added Sophie as a friend.  I’m sorry that Emma and Jason are now in a relationship and that it’s complicated with Lucy and David.  I'm sorry that Lauren asked me to join Cafeworld and that Ryan invited me to "Not Another Birthday Party-Birthday Party."   I’m sorry that Alexa has asked me to take the “How good of a friend are you?” quiz and that I wrote her a message saying, “you’re annoying.”  Basically, I’m sorry I was one of those obnoxious biatches that we all actually make fun of.

I know we're all guilty of whipping out our phones and bbming and texting up a storm, but can we please not add Facebook to that mix?  We’re already such a rude generation, let’s not make it any worst.  Like my dad always says, “NO TEXTING AT THE DINNER TABLE!!”  That rule should apply to Facebook,  try to keep the stalking to computer time please. You're Facebook-free friends and family will thank you.


*On a side note, I'm thinking of throwing my Blackberry out the window, the BBMing is just too time consuming.  But, I'm not quite ready yet. A handful of friends told me that if I don't have BBM we probably won't speak anymore! Can I survive socially without it? Can you?

Get Your Kindness Folks, One Day Only!

Mondays are usually greeted with a shrewd smirk and half-ass shuffle to our dreary day ahead. However, if you’re one of the lucky ones you’ve woken up at 10am with a giant smile realizing you have the day off.  Thank you, MLK.  Being that today is not a regular Monday I decided to teeter from my general routine of bashing Facebook, and for one day only give “the book” a  little break from my scornful, but honest view point.  It’s a rarity that I should do this, but believe it or not, some things are more important than Facebook.  Brace yourself friends, I’m about to say something nice. 

In the wake of the devastating earthquake that rocked Haiti, people all over the world are turning to Facebook to seek out their loved ones and to do some all around good.  Being that I’m not a Facebook member I can’t give any direct examples of groups that have been created, however, all you have to do is turn on any News station and they will most likely be talking about Haiti and the relief efforts.

 My brother, still a Facebook freak, tells me that some groups have upwards of 20,000 members desperately searching for their friends and families; sharing information, videos and news clips concerning Americans missing from the Hotel Montana. Other groups are encouraging members world-wide to make donations and help in any way they can.  According to an article on BBC, social networks have played a significant role in the large donations that have been raised to help Haiti. In under 48 hours, $35 million had been raised and in large part due to social networking sites. Be weary though, sickos are always out there looking to scam people out of their money, an unfortunate and major pitfall of the social networks.

Let us not be mistaken, social networking may be a successful tool in this horrific crisis, but there are plenty of other ways to help out.  You can make donations at World Vision, Google Crisis Response, or you can text “Haiti” to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross. 

My crusade against Facebook continues on after today.  I understand that using social networking sites in the right contexts can be very successful, however, the rest of the craziness that occurs on there is not ok by any means.    Be prepared for more contemptuous commentary tomorrow.  Oh, and have a lovely day off!

Social Networking Defined: [soh-shuhl net-wur-king]

I think it’s time to start re-evaluating what "social networking" really means.  A friend sent me the Coleman commercial and it really got me thinking. When did we stop sitting around the campfire and start hiding behind a computer screen?  I get it, social networking has evolved, but can we really say it’s for the better? 

Growing up I belonged to a ton of social networks, as did most kids.  We started young, first in our preschool playgroups and Gymboree.  As we entered Elementary School we joined sports teams (or karate, whatever), took dance classes, made friends, and went to day camp.  As we started getting older we ventured further from the nest, attending sleep away camp, teen travel programs, camp outs, and summer college programs.  Soon enough, we all went away to our respective colleges, made more friends, traveled abroad and wound up back in the place where it all began. 

We’re back in the city that never sleeps and we’ve abandoned our tried and true social networks.  We’ve joined Facebook and Twitter and we expect that by belonging to these networks our social lives will be taken care of.  Boy meets girl is a scenario that rarely happens anymore.  When did 7 minutes in heaven turn into a Facebook message reading, “Hi, I stumbled across your picture and love your smile.  Wanna get dinner sometime?”  Ew, no, a bit of advice gentleman, no one wants to be asked out via Facebook message.  Pick up the phone and give a girl a call. 

All of that aside, what about the people we left in the past for a reason? The extended-extended friend re-appears requesting your Facebook friendship.  This request is most likely followed up by a wall post saying, “Hey, it’s been too long…let’s get dinner soon.”   The truth is, you have absolutely no interest re-establishing your 3 day friendship that occurred during spring break in Acapulco.  We all know, what happens in Acapulco stays in Acapulco!

Just like you don’t want to meet your future husband/wife via Facebook, you also don’t want to rekindle a friendship that died out years ago.  Like the old saying goes,"Make new friends, and keep the old," but let's not rely on Facebook to keep our friendships strong.  Let’s get back to basics, a telephone call to your college roommate, even an email to a friend from High School.  If you really want to make a strong social network for yourself then get out there and create your own wolf pack.  If Allen can do it, so can you.  

Here’s A News Feed-You Need A Life

The daily News Feed is the first thing a person sees when signing into Facebook.  It’s riddled with insignificant status updates, quizzes that are never cool, and many other strange quips that are inconsequential to one’s life. In fact, sometimes the updates are just plain creepy.  I found it to be a tedious chore to scroll the feed and weed out what I actually cared about, which was never anything more than “I’m Engaged” or “Happy Birthday To Me”  (oops, forgot to wish her a happy birthday).  I’ve touched on this subject already, however, I recently learned that I was in the majority of people who felt the daily BS that appears on the News Feed is just tiresome and unoriginal.  

I got a call from my brother today, who initially was not an advocate of my quitting.  In fact I believe his words were, “Why would you quit? Don’t be a loser.”  Seems like the bro is coming around.  He called to tell me that one-Rihanna is so hot, and two-GQ magazine has a funny article called Eighteen People You're Scared Of On Facebook. The magazine chose 18 people whose status updates were corny and cliché, and genuinely annoyed them when signing in.  I must say, GQ was dead on, and I’m sure you will agree.  You can click the link to read the article, but to fully appreciate it I recommend buying the actual magazine, plus my brother was right, Rihanna is so hot ! Enjoy!

A Slice Of Life, Literally

What will they think of next?  I found myself asking the age-old question when I came across a new technological toy on the internet today.  Check this out.  Kodak has come out with a new camera called the Slice.  Heard of it?  Yes? No? Either way, I’m going to tell you a little bit about it.  Kodak boasts that the Slice was built for socializing.  I bet all you FB junkies are intrigued already. It’s kind of like a hybrid, half camera-half photo album.  The Slice allows you to tag friends in photos and sort and organize albums without leaving your camera screen.  The camera does lack wireless internet though, so you’ll just have to wait till you get home to upload your pictures. Then again, you can always mobile upload, which we already know I detest.

Kodak should change the name of the camera from the Slice to the Enabler because enabling this growing culture’s growing addiction to social networks is exactly what it’s doing.  But you don't really care, you're thinking right now, "I NEED this." Anyway, for a mere $350.00 you can make your uploading easier, because after all, if you can't post your pictures on Facebook, how will the world know what you're doing?

Three Reasons I Don't Miss Facebook

Well, it’s that dreaded day of the week again and after a nice weekend of dinners at trendy restaurants in the West Village and drinks at the coolest new bars Tribeca has to offer, you're back at your desk wallowing in the misery of the day to come. Hopefully my sarcastic point of view and downright acerbic tone will bring a smile to your face and remind you not to take anything too seriously. Today's “Three Reasons I Don’t Miss Facebook” has a theme. Drum roll please, the theme is Groups. During my 6 years on Facebook I've been invited to the most absurd groups you can imagine. Actually, I don’t have to tell you because im sure you’ve been invited too. Listed below are some of the groups that I loathed.

3-Because I could care less if your Dad joins Facebook.
Tell me why you think I care to help you peer pressure your dad into creating a Facebook account? We’ve all been invited to a group like this before. It looks a little something like, “If 7,000 join this group, Michael’s Dad will make a facebook account.” Awesome Michael, your dad is in his mid-fifties and has made a nice life for himself without your help and you are trying to sucker him into joining facebook. Why? He clearly has no interest, and most likely thinks you’re a dork now that you’ve made this your new mission of the week. Good job buddy, if I were you I'd start discussing the Jets with your dad immediately, it may help you redeem yourself.

2-Because I think your parties are really lame, please stop inviting me.
The “sickest” parties of the year are definitely not the ones that you are promoting. If you need to start a group on facebook and invite girls you don’t even know, I’m telling you now, your parties are lame. Before quitting facebook I received a message from a random guy who runs a group promoting his parties (who probably was just like this guy, Bobby Bottle Service). He said, “I think your really gorgeouzzzz, please help me by attending the sickessst parties ever.” Now, you may or may not know me, but just from reading what I’ve been writing I bet you can get a good idea of what my response was. No need to share my caustic comments with you, I know you get the point. And by the way, using the letter Z numerous times when it really should be the letter S should be a warning sign folks, DO NOT JOIN THIS GROUP.

1- Because I highly doubt by joining this group I’ll really be saving the earth.
Here’s a thought, if you’re really looking to make a positive contribution to this world, why don’t you go out and physically do it? I’m not claiming to be Mother Teresa, but you and I both know that just by joining the group, “Help save the Mongolian Rain Forest,” we’re really making no difference to the poor little tree monkeys. I know that there are some groups that actually do make a difference so please don’t be offended by my generalization. However, I know that if I’m invited to, “Help raise Intestinal Health Awareness,” the only way ill actually be helping is if I don’t join. No need to give someone the idea that they are promoting something that they actually aren’t. So keep in mind, you want to “be the difference,” get out there and be it, don’t hide behind your computer screen.

So, there you have it. Have a lovely day and check back tomorrow for some sarcasm with a side of wry.

The Great Debate

My intention when quitting Facebook was to no longer have it dominate my downtime (which I clearly have too much of).  Like I've mentioned time and time again, even though I'm a quitter, I'm talking about Facebook more than ever.  Last night, while at The Hill, a bunch of friends approached me with ideas and praise.  Apparently, I'm not the only one who felt overwhelmed by the social network that is "the book."  This made me think, if people I know are having a love/hate relationship with Facebook, how does the rest of the world feel?  I know that I'm talking about a network that millions of people belong to, but I think we all know that sometimes we feel one way and certainly act another.  

When browsing my usual websites I came across two articles debating this week's issue on Facebook: Bra Colors.  Apparently, in order to raise Breast Cancer Awareness, someone felt it was a good idea for women to post their bra color of the day.  Below are links to the articles.  Let me know your thoughts on this Great Debate.

Great Facebook Bra Debate: Success or 'Slacktivism'?

Do Bra Colors On Facebook Serve A Purpose?

Hit It And Quit It

Hi kids! Today’s message is, “Be a Quitter.” Brought to you by the letter Q! That’s a throwback to Sesame Street, in case you missed it.  Anyway, it’s been one week since I quit “the book” cold turkey and I’ve got to tell you, it’s a relief to have the monkey that is Facebook off of my back. It's liberating not having to sign in and peruse through the whackness on my news feed. “Jane has joined the group Moving Uptown Need To Get Rid Of My Old Furniture.”  I just can’t wait to buy your crappy used furniture, NOT!  Or, how about, “10 of your friends are attending the event The Abroad Class of 2006 To Save the Marsupials of South Australia.”  Sweet, sounds like a blast, can’t wait to NOT attend.

Give yourself a break from your humdrum routine and quit something. You’ve already got the brutally painful New York weather kicking your ass, so quit something and feel invigorated!  Our parents always told us not to quit, but let's be honest, there was always that little part of you that wanted to rebel and quit something, so here's your chance.  Let’s make a list of all the things you could quit:

1. The obvious, Facebook.
2. Twitter
3. The Gym (if Chandler can do it, so can you)
4. Your Job (or just look for a new one while you complain about the current one)
5. Smoking (two words, "ya nasty")
6. The boring book you're reading (try Loving Frank, thanks Linds, loving it)
7. Shopping (addictive but pricey, become an Economista)
8. Eating out so much, try cooking!
9. The Relationship you’re staying in just so you don’t have to be alone
10.  Your addiction to gossip sites, magazines, etc. (it's unhealthy and kind of creepy, I should know)

In the time that I would have spent mindlessly pursuing Facebook, I instead read three books, learned how to make home-made pizza, ate a ton of red olives (not entirely a positive thing, but they were soooo delicious), wrote some blog entries and applied for jobs.  I of course still browsed my usual sites, Shopbop, IMDB, and Craig's List, but hey, it’s a start. 

If you don’t want to quit anything than just quit the “act.”  You don’t need to post something on Facebook for the sole reason of getting people’s attention.  Do something for you and you’ll be much more satisfied.  Happy Friday and have a fabulous weekend!!

Live For The Moment, Not For The Mobile

Now that I’ve quit facebook I feel like I'm talking about it more than ever.  All of my friends, and friends of friends have been reaching out to suggest ideas and share their thoughts, and I love it! Last night, while having dinner at Maialino (which was delicious and I highly recommend trying the raviolo), my friend Lindsi mentioned her disdain for Mobile Uploads.  OMG! What a great topic for my blog, I thought.  So let's explore the mobile upload for a bit, shall we?

You’re at the Lady Gaga concert, she’s rocking out in a flashy one piece and sporting an eccentric hairdo and you need to take as many pictures as you can to capture the awesomeness that is occurring on stage right now.  Like most of our generation you are taking pictures from your phone because your camera doesn’t fit in your evening bag, which contains only the essentials (cell phone, keys, wallet and lip gloss).  You feverishly snap away on your Blackberry and suddenly an idea pops into your head,  “Why don’t I send these directly to facebook right now?”  And that’s where you lose me.

 Tell me why in the peak of your excitement you want to spend even a minute uploading your pictures to Facebook?  Does a blurry picture of Lady Gaga's leotard really need to appear on you best friend’s younger brother’s news feed? He’s probably happy for you, but he’s definitely not wasting his time checking out your fuzzy picture, he’s got a G.I Joes and Army Hos mixer to attend to. Or, how about your co-worker who you’ve complained to all week about having no money and having to eat Boca Burgers until your next direct deposit? As she’s shoveling spoonful after spoonful of Chunky Monkey into her mouth at 11:36 PM and your concert picture pops onto her screen I can imagine that she most likely resents you right now. 

The point is, think before you click.  I’m sure intoxication is a factor in your hasty decision to mobile upload sometimes, but that’s no excuse.  We've learned long ago in our very first relationship, just because your drunk that does not make it OK!  That's all for now, and special thanks to Adam for helping with the title of today's post.

Three Reasons I Don’t Miss FaceBook

Mondays can be so cruel. As you muster up the strength to face your monotonous day with a giant cup of coffee and an oversized scarf, I thought, maybe I could do my part to give you a break from the Monday blues. Every Monday will be dedicated to a little piece I like to call, "Three reasons I don't miss Fbook." Please enjoy, and don't spill your coffee, it's not even noon yet!

Three Reasons I Don’t Miss Facebook

3-Because I really don’t need to see how tan everyone is.

Welcome back New Yorkers.  I think it's safe to assume that almost everyone who was away has now returned (except my recently engaged friend who is still enjoying some private time with her fiancé in Florida). Whether you were in Cabo, Aruba, Miami or Puerto Rico, you’re back and your skin is bronzed while mine is turning a lovely shade of milky white.  I’m glad you met celebrities on the beach in Cabo and listened to some famous DJ spin at Liv in Miami, but, I certainly don’t need to be reminded of it, album after album.  Again, welcome home, and be sure to moisturize.

2-Because I really don’t care if you just won a Pink Spotted Cow on Farmville.

Is this a joke? Farmville, seriously, this is how people are spending their time?  Hours upon hours spent, “harvesting crops,” on Farmville for Facebook. Let me get this straight.  You have a pretend farm and pretend crops and you make pretend money the more you harvest and sell.   Does this not sound like a big ole waste of time to you?  Apparently it doesn't to my 17 year old sister.  With her senior year half way over and college acceptances rolling in there is nothing more she likes to waste her time with then buying corn on Farmville and sending purple ducks to her friends.  I'll give her that she's 17, but what about the 30 year old farmers?  If your over 18 (and I'm being generous here), please, I beg of you, find something better to do with your time, plant a real garden in your backyard.   I promise you it will be more fulfilling!

1-Because I find it bizarre that you need to tell the world you are eating a jelly doughnut. 

Listen, I’m really glad  that you have the confidence to express yourself to the entire world that is Fbook, but tell me, is it necessary to make a status telling the world about every morsel of food that has entered your mouth in the last 24 hours?  And, yes, I’m aware that the Jets clinched and the Giants suck, but again, do you really need to post a status about it every 19 minutes? I doubt it.  If your sister had a baby and you’re excited about it then by all means brag to the world about it! But, if you’re just bored out of your mind and you actually believe that people care that you just had a nice warm mug of hot chocolate, you are mistaken.  Let’s keep it real, can we?

So those are today’s “Three Reasons I Don’t Miss Facebook.”  Hope you enjoyed and feel free to comment and let me know what you think.  If I had to guess, I think you might agree with my thoughts :) !

The First 24

People say the first 24 hours are the hardest, although, I don't think they were referring to quitting Facebook. I’m not going to lie, I had an intense urge to reactivate my account last night. I even had a dream about it, which really freaks me out because why the hell am I dreaming about Facebook? I'm completely appalled by the fact that in the few hours of sleep that I actually get (I'm the self-proclaimed World's Worst Sleeper), when I could be dreaming about George Clooney or Buttercup cupcakes, I'm dreaming about Facebook. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, it was only a little blip of a dream. I dreamt that I accidentally reactivated and got so upset that I immediately signed out. I guess I should take that as a good sign, well, not the dreaming of Facebook part, but the part where I again decide to free myself from it. On second thought, I'm not being too hard on myself, I'm actually embarrassed.

Anyway, it’s a few days since New Years Eve, people are just getting back from their vacations and most likely posting pictures galore. I’m only slightly curious- OK, that’s a lie, I’m very curious about everyones whereabouts. Who was in Miami? What was everyone wearing? Did anyone get engaged when the ball dropped? Tell me again why this is important to me. Oh, that’s right, IT'S NOT! Time to stop obsessing about nonsense and get back to The Red Tent, the current book that is keeping me occupied. I bet Dinah didn’t have a Facebook (I mean of course she didn’t she was busy writing her version of the Bible). I’m not one to preach, but do yourself a favor, spend 10 less minutes on fbook tonight. Trust me, it will be good for you.

See Ya Later Fbook

I’m trying to remember a time before Facebook. Before stalking pictures of ex-boyfriends and obsessing over who’s wearing Louboutins there had to be something else I did with my free time. I will admit I’ve always been someone who likes to know things. When I say, “know things,” I mean, know everything. In my pre-facebook life, I liked to fill myself with knowledge on various topics. There were the normal things, like food (my main obsession in life), books, traveling and fashion; all the things you can find in the Sunday Times. My curiosities then led to cupcakes, weather, skincare products, perfume, etc. I was basically a very normal person interested in all the different facets of life. But, when did I feel the need to know about the lives of people I don’t even know?

It starts with a click. Click on your best friend. Click on her tagged pictures. Click on a specific picture and it shows you the album. Click on the album. All of a sudden, even though my friend is tagged in the picture I’m wondering, whose album is this? Who is this girl? Who is she friends with? Nice Chanel bag. Where did she go to college? Oh, she’s younger. Who is she dating? WHY?!?!?? Whyyy do I care? I know I shouldn’t, I know this girl is completely irrelevant in my life, but for some reason her life interests me. And that is how it all begins.

The obsession with one person spreads to an obsession of many, most of whom I don’t even know. So this is where it ends. Today, January 1^st, 2010 is my first day free from “the book.” It’s liberating and frightening all at once, this disconnect from the lives of millions. I find myself asking the most asinine questions. For example, will people forget about me? How will I know who’s dating who? Who is attending my best friend’s birthday party this weekend? Will anyone know I was on vacation all week if I can't post pictures? Trust me, I know these questions are shallow and absurd but you’d be naive to believe I’m the only person who thinks about these things.

What will I do with my new found free time (which I have plenty of to begin with due to my current state of unemployment)? I’ll read, I’ll write, I’ll bake, I’ll eat, and maybe just maybe I'll get a job! Let’s be clear, I will miss facebook immensely and I’m sure there will be days I crave knowing about people's lives that mean nothing to me, but I’ll be sure to write about it. Any thought relating to facebook will be documented here. So, good luck to me. Shouldn’t be so hard right? We’ll see about that…