Please bare with me today my brain is not functioning at full capacity.  I will be back with a post as soon as I have something slightly intelligent to say.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Facebook

Fact: Men and women communicate differently.  If you did not know this, this may have been why your last relationship failed.  It should come as no surprise than that men and women use Facebook for different reasons.  I know what your thinking, men want to find women to bang and women want to find men to make their husbands.  Although that's kind of my theory too, we are both a little bit wrong.  Yes, there are certainly men and women out there who use the book for that reason, but apparently they are using it for other reasons too.  Who knew?

I had always wanted to know the gender breakdown on Facebook (Why? Because I'm a big dork) and according to Forbes magazine it goes like this: 57% women, 43 % men.  If you're not the brightest compact light bulb in the box let me lay it out for you: Women dominate Facebook.  Shocker.  We all knew one day that women would dominate in one way or another and now we have found our venue.  Is that something to be proud of? You  already know my answer.

So, what is it that men and women are doing on there anyway?  Well, men are using the book as a means to gain power and women are using it as a means of "keeping in touch." Again, no surprise there.  Women are sharing photos and stories from their everyday lives while men are gathering information and building their statuses.  Real life mirroring Facebook or Facebook mirroring real life?

We've always known that men and women think differently and most certainly act differently.  And, if these differences are coming out through Facebook than that must mean that they are true.  So men, continue to hunt, gather info, and leave the seat up after you pee and the women will keep on making babies and posting their pictures online.

Senator Schumer Tames The Beast

Well, there you have it.  New York State Senator, Chuck Schumer has said, "The bottom line is this: Social networking sites are the wild west of the internet."  Hello? Is this not what I have been saying all along? So glad the senator and I see eye to eye.

The senator, along with millions of other  people are concerned with the privacy issue in regards to Facebook and other social networking sites alike.  So your saying putting all of your information on a website for the entire world to see is not such a safe idea? Shocker.

The FTC along with the Senator are dedicated to creating stricter privacy settings for all users of social networking sites.  I mean, you could just not put all your info on a social network site and that will solve all your problems, but that would be way too easy.  Plus, you still need to stalk all those people you have zero relationship to.

Update

Alert the masses: The iPad ban has been lifted. I repeat, it is now safe to bring the iPad into Israel.  The spokesperson for the Communications Ministry of  Israel says that all technological glitches have been worked out and after some testing, iPad is now approved for Israel.  The spokesperson also said, "we have nothing against apple products.  We like the iPhone here in Israel."  Good to know Israel agrees with the rest of the millions of people, myself included, who are obsessed with Apple products.

I'll be back later with some sort of Facebook nonsense.

iPademonium

The iPad. The end.

Just kidding, I obviously have more to say, although just writing the word iPad seems to dazzle people more than an actual description of it.  I will not be an iPad basher.  I love the iPad.  I have zero reason to purchase one, but I love it.  If I was an e-reader, iPad would clearly be my choice,  but other than that, I can't conjure up any reasons to spend the $$$ that I do not have.  Although I've got nothing bad to say about the iPad apparently Israel feels differently.

Believe it or not, Israel has banned the iPad. It sounds crazy, but is it?  According to the NY Times, the powerful little toy has some seriously strong wireless signals that could disrupt other devices.  Israel is pretty serious about their security (as they should be) so I understand their concern, but is the iPad a potentially dangerous threat? I think not.  The iPad's stronger signal can throw off the wireless connection of others.  The harm: it creates interference.

So what happens if you are not up to date with the laws of Israel and you bring your little friend into the country with you?  Say goodbye because it's being taken from you at Customs.  Don't worry, you'll get it back, but you'll have to pay a daily storage fee.  The real  question is, will you be able to get by with out your e-reader, your music player, your internet, your computer...your life?  You're in Israel, enjoy the land of milk and honey.

Don't worry, Apple plans to make the necessary changes and the iPad will eventually make it's way into Israel.  However, I applaud you, Israel.  Taking a stand and truly putting your people ahead of your technological cravings. Mazel Tov.

The Latest Stupidity

Ever heard of Formspring? It's just the latest in nonsensical social sites.  I'm not even sure why someone created a site like this.  The actually website is www.formspring.me.  The concept behind it is so boring and so bizarre.  Snoozefest 2010.

Here's how it works: You create an account, and surprise surprise it can be linked to your Facebook page.  From there, anyone can ask you an anonymous question which you can choose to reply to.  I'm pretty sure that this site is aimed at tweens and teens because the questions that are asked on this site are all pretty similar and pretty stupid.  I did a little research and here are some of the most popular questions: Do you get high? Do you have sex? How many girls/boys have you hooked up with? Do you think you are hot?  Here's my question: You're kidding me right?

Let's keep in mind that the identity of the people asking the questions is kept hidden.  Great, let's protect the anonymity of the douches who are torturing others.  Again though, this is one of those situations where you have to place some blame on those who choose to expose themselves to this form of social torture.  I can't figure it out.  Why sign up for a site and put yourself out there when in the end you're just going to be made to look  like a fool? Make sense to you? I doubt it.

What a brilliant idea, NOT.  As if there is not enough cyber-bullying already, Formspring has now created another platform for it.  Kids are not stupid, let's just make that clear. However, they can be mean as all hell.  They know who's cool, who's getting high, who's an easy target and who's a slut.  They take this information and they can make anyones life a living hell.  So my question for you creator for Formspring, is why create a site that contributes to the desecration of the lives of teens?  Did this really seem like a good idea to you?

Thank You, Christina Hendricks

Do you know this woman? You better. If not, where have you been? This is Christina Hendricks the bodacious broad from Mad Men.  If you are unfamiliar with her, I recommend you get familiar, asap.  Not only is she stunningly gorgeous, she has a body, and I mean body.  No, she's not 5'9, 100 lbs.  This woman has killer curves and mark my words, she is making her way to the top!

At this point I'm sure you're thinking, Ok, so she's hot, but what do she have to do with Facebook?  It just so happens that Ms. Hendricks was recently named Esquire magazine's Best Looking Woman In America.  And, when you are the best looking woman in magazine you get to say whatever the hell you want in an interview.

Hendricks dished about friends, scotch, fashion and my favorite topic to bash, Facebook.  Here is what the bombshell had to say about men: Stand up, open a door, offer a jacket.  We talk about it with our friends after you do it.  "Can you believe he stood up when you approached the table?" It makes us feel important.  And it makes you important because we talk about it.  No man should be on Facebook.  It's an invasion of everyone's privacy.  I really cannot stand it.

After reading the whole article, I realized that all men need to read it, so here's the link: Christina Hendricks: A Letter to Men.  She's poignant and smart and she thinks Facebook sucks!  You may not have taken my advice, but you should definitely take her!

Normal Humans Among Us

I don't even know how to begin this morning's blog because I was so blown away by what I was told.  I'm making it sound crazier than it is, but I was beyond impressed and kind of baffled at the same time when a friend of mine told me the following story.

Last week, my friend was set up on a blind date.  Reluctant to actually go, she decided to just suck it up and make the most of it.  Prior to going on the date we were chatting on the phone at work when I asked her what his name was and if she knew anything about him.  She paused as if she was confused, of course she knew his name and yes, she knew a few details about him.  He has blonde hair, a job in finance, and lives in Gramercy.  Those details sound all good, next question.  This was the obvious one, "Is he on Facebook?"  Her reply, "I don't know, I didn't look."  What do you mean? I don't understand.  You can potentially see what this guy looks like before you go and you're choosing not to? And there I stood, shocked and confused.

Is it possible that there are people out there that don't use Facebook as the ultimate stalking tool? Let's say it was you going on the blind date, would you search the person out on Facebook first or would you go  on this blind date truly blind of what the person looked like?  I had no idea that some people were possible of this non-stalking behavior.

Turns out, they're not.  When asking the vast majority of my friends and people that I associate with, my friend is one of very few people who don't use Facebook stalk.  She said, she just didn't really care that much to look and was going to just go with the flow.  Wow! I won't lie, I was totally impressed by this behavior.  Good for her, doing things the old-fashioned way.  Then it dawned on me, my friend is a normal human being.  She's just being completely normal and taking things as they come, not consumed by the Facebook world and the power it  holds.  Next time  you have a blind date, or are meeting someone you don't know, remember my friend and think about what she would do in this situation, be a normal human.

What To Do, What To Do

I'm having a conflict.  Actually, I shouldn't call it that because the matter that I'm conflicted over is quite trivial. However, I can't seem to figure out what I should do about it.

Let me explain.  I have been a Blackberry member since 2004.  I was going abroad to Florence, Italy and the easiest way to keep in touch was to get a Blackberry.  Was it really necessary? Eh, not really, but I'm the type of girl who speaks to her mother 12 times a day so I just thought this was the easiest option.

Ever since then, I have been a faithful Blackberry holder.  When BBM came out, it rocked my world (I clearly need to get a life).  But, really, it was great.  Such an easy way to communicate.  My brother, who chose to go with iPhone, couldn't understand why BBMing was different than just texting.  If you are a BBMer  you know the difference.  It's easy, it's seamless, it's instantaneous and I like instantaneous.

Nowadays, I'm thinking I might be over the Blackberry.  RIM keeps coming out with new ones every year and I keep feeling the pressure (from myself) to always have the newest one.  I love technology and I don't like to fall behind, but it's not really in my budget anymore to keep getting a new phone every year. Plus, the iPhone is really freaking cool.  The stuff that that phone can do is truly unbelievable.

Here's another issue I'm having with the Blackberry.  Every single girl I know always has their Blackberry in hand, BBMing away and for the most part having pointless conversations.  We hold onto them as if we're holding on to a leash of a dog we don't want to let get away.  It kind of makes me feel cheesy that I fall into that category of girls.  I just want to be that stereotype (which is what I am, so all of you girls don't be offended, but it's true)!

So, what do I  do? Do I quit the Blackberry and get the iPhone?   Or, do I stick with Blackberry because without BBM I'm scared I'll lose my friends?  I know I won't really lose them, but I'll lose that instantaneous communication I was talking about.  So, there's my conflict.  Someone figure it out and give me an answer, thanks!

The Etiquette Of De-Friending

Once upon a time when I was a Facebook member I was de-friended.  I may have been de-friended more than once, however, this one specific incident is the only one I was aware of.  Is it really necessary to de-friend people? In truth, sometimes it is.  Yet, other times, it's just completely ridiculous and honestly just flat out babyish. That's right I said babyish.

So, let me get to this de-friending incident.  It was one of my best friend's ex-boyfriend.  I can't tell you why I noticed or why I was even looking for him (hence one of the reasons I quit, I never knew what the hell I was doing on there), but he was gone from the search bar when I typed in his name.  I wondered how this could be possible.  Did he quit Facebook?  It didn't seem that that would be the answer.  I'm someone who needs answers, and this little predicament needed an answer, pronto.

In order to get the info I needed I clicked on another friends page and checked out her friends.  When scrolling through her list of friends I spotted him.  There he was, still her friend, but not mine.  I couldn't help but ask myself why. I had been Facebook dumped by the ex-boyfriend of my best friend.  Should I have cared? Probably not.  I probably was never going to speak to this kid again, but it just bothered me.  Who de-friends someone???

I get it, if you break up with a long-term boyfriend or girlfriend they don't exist in your universe anymore and that certainly includes Facebook.  But, what about those who de-friend because you didn't invite them to your birthday party or you put them on some sort of privacy list?  Hate to break it to ya, but if you weren't invited or if you were privated, you weren't friends anyway!  Is this your way of proving your point? I'll show you, I'm going to de-friend you on Facebook! Ha, it's all a joke isn't it?

The boy who de-friended me ended up doing a "friend purge" and deleting 150 of his "friends."  But, that didn't make me feel any better.  The damage was done, and in the long run, did it really make a difference? We're still not friends, we probably never will be, and the truth is we really never were.  Good riddance de-friender, and toodaloo Facebook.

Another Day, Another South Park Clip

Ok- I loved this entire episode of South Park and I just needed to post one more clip! This one really completely  sums up my feelings about Facebook! Enjoy!

Because South Park Is Funnier Than I Am

Pardon my absence the past few days.  This wisdom tooth situation really knocked me on my ass.  Not going to lie, way worst than I had anticipated.  If you have to do it, just be prepared for the most miserable -3-4 days of your life.

Ok, on to the next.  This past week a few friends had been telling me that I had to watch this week's episode of South Park.  Really? I'm a Family Guy type of gal, South Park isn't really my thing.  However, the episode happened to be all about Facebook, and we all know how much I love that topic.  Below is a clip from the hilarious episode of South Park.  Enjoy!

Words Of Wisdom

Three words: Get them out.  I'm talking about your teeth! Two years ago when the oral surgeon told me it was time for them to come out I heard him but I did not listen.  I didn't buy into the whole wisdom tooth business.  The surgeon took one peek in my mouth and said, "Yeah, these have to come out."  I just find it so hard to believe that so many people actually need them out. At $600/tooth seems like a nice little racket for these dentists. Do we really need them out or is it a scam?

Well, I answered my own question this week.  It's no scam and I'm an idiot. I woke up Monday morning with excruciating pain in the back of mouth and knew something wasn't right.  I was reluctant to go to the dentist and was hoping that the pain would dissipate on its own.  Mistake number two (not getting them out when told was clearly mistake number one), when in pain, deal with it, it will only get worst.

After two days of self-medicating (don't worry it was only Advil), I decided to suck it up and get my butt over to the dentist.  With one glance and some tapping on my teeth with a little pointy tool he sent me right over to the oral surgeon.  Once again the oral surgeon told me, "They MUST come out."

So, yesterday was the day.  After a 12 hour fast, I sat in the surgeon's chair and let the cocktail of laughing gas, novocain and anesthesia take over! I'll admit, that part was kind of fun.  What followed was not.  I do not remember waking up, nor do I remember being shown all 4 wisdoms that the surgeon had pulled.  I do however remember being surrounded by noodles in my bed two hours later feeling the pain once again.  Word to the wise, when given Vicodin for the pain, take it!

If I haven't made myself clear, let me reiterate the importance of listening to your dentist. When he or she tells you to take em out, don't be a stubborn moron like me and "refuse to buy into the whole wisdom tooth nonsense." Yes, those were my original words on the matter. Just get them out.

There is a bright side.  Prior to the pulling, all my girlfriends agreed on one important point: You can't eat so you lose a few pounds! Sounds good to me.  Except, for some reason I don't think that's going to happen.  I'm only a day in and I've been taking down peanut butter and banana smoothies and egg noodles soaked in butter.  Can it be that I will be the only person in America who gains weight when they have their wisdom teeth taken out? It looks like it.

It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's Facebook!

Is it just me or is Facebook everywhere you look? In a 24 hour period I would guess that the word "Facebook" is used in the vocabulary of the masses at least twice daily.  How often do  you hear people say, "Oh yeah I saw that on Facebook." Or, "Ugh, you better not post that picture on Facebook."  You know what though, it's not just the general public that is making Facebook all the more prevalent in our lives, it's the media.

Nowadays, every commercial you see ends with the line, "and you can add us on Facebook."  Hey Tide Detergent, tell me why I want to be your friend on Facebook? Yes, you are very useful at getting out marinara sauce stains on my white t-shirts, but that doesn't mean I want to be your friend.  Oreo Cakesters, I do love you, but I do not care if I can dunk you in milk or if I can not.  I'll eat you whatever way I please. No need for me to "be a part of the debate on Facebook." Not interested, thanks.

I get it, Facebook sells.  But is it really necessary for every single business or corporation to make a Facebook Fan Page? I love Bloomingdales, but I'm pretty sure going to their website is enough to get me shopping.  What happened to just going to the actually website of the product you're interested in? Is that old school or am I just out of the loop?

When will the Facebook craze end? I guess no time soon.  Everyone and their mothers (literally) are jumping on the bandwagon.  Looks like there is no stopping this beast.

Socialize This

Bare with me on this one. I'm posting from my Blackberry and I think we all know how that goes. Pardon any typos or blatant errors. Now let's get on with it.

There was an article in the NY Times this weekend all about the word socialize. I had no idea the impact this word had on society. I feel pretty stupid even saying that, being that I am the girl who talks about her resistance to a social networking site on a daily basis.

Getting to the point, I learned that the term "socialize the idea" is a new (or maybe not so new) catchphrase used by business men and housewives alike. Creating a new product and wondering if the mass public will take a liking to it? Why don't you "socialize the idea" with some colleagues? Can't figure out to make for dinner for your vegetarian daughter and your meat and potatoes man? Call up a few girl friends and "socialize" your dinner menu. To me, life is socialization for the most part really. Who in the hell decided to rework the definition of "life" into "socialize"?

Am I making sense here or am I rambling? I'm confused. And another thing, how can there be a term relating to socializing that I didn't even know about? I feel like when it comes to technology and the digerati (a term used for digitally inclined people) I just can't keep up. I guess it's one of those things that makes me say, what will they think of next?

Yo, You Look Like A Carrot That I Don't Want To Eat

As per usual on Friday I have something a little different and completely unrelated to Facebook.  A friend of mine writes a blog about his thoughts and he has written a blog today for The Girl Who Quit.  Please enjoy the random Friday Post!


Listen ladies. I know that tanning is the look these days. You look healthier and sexier. I get that. But let me just fill you in on a little tidbit. If you are going to go tanning, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT EVER go with that fake spray tan stuff, unless you want to be nicknamed "Pumpkin" for the rest of your life. And trust me I know from experience, that nickname sticks like super glue.

If you are going to get tan, go to Acapulco, Cabo, Florida. Put some sun screen on and have a group sun-tan lotion rub down. If you want, make a video of it and send it to me. I can guarantee you that the only thing a fake tan will get you is a 225 pound roided out monster.

Do you really think you look good with your face having an orange tint to it? Did you think that all the guys you are trying to attract would like you more because your face looks like a basketball? Don't get me wrong here. I love carrots and everything, in fact they are my my favorite vegetable, but the sight of an orange-tinted face is repulsing. You aren't fooling anyone. We know you stayed on Long Island during Spring Break.

And as for guys who are into the whole GTL thing with the fake tan. You will never be my friend. Not saying im cool or anything, but I don't want my entourage looking like they just went swimming in a pool of orange juice. Gross dude.

Fools Of April

How many people signed into Facebook today to find asinine April Fools statuses?  Basically anyone with a Facebook account has at least one "friend" who changed their relationship status to married, announced they were pregnant, or claimed to have won the lotto.  Without ever signing in, I did some googling and asking of friends to find some of the lame Facebook Fools on this gorgeous 1st day of April. Here is the random smattering of statues I found:

The Lamest April Fools Statuses I've Ever Heard

• Hey Dad-I just looked out the window and your Bentley GT is no longer in the driveway!
• Brad Pitt just announced he's getting back together with Jennifer Aniston!
• So excited to be a pop-pop!
• Hey honey, just wanted to let you my mother will be moving in with us at the end of the month :)
• Finally doing it, moving to Cali tomorrow!
• Monica-I hope you finally took care of the herpes, I heard it spreads easily.
• OMGGGG best day ever I just found a gym bag with $3,000 in on the subway to work!
• Irene will you marry? Just kidding April Foolzzzzzzzz!
• Woke up and Justin Beiber was at my kitchen table!!!!!
• Aaron-I heard that girl you brought home last night was super hot, hope your girlfriend doesn't find out.

There you have it. If you have read any other good ones feel free to post them.  My friends at work thought it would be funny if I claimed I was going to be re-activating my Facebook account, but I just couldn't get down with that.  Anyway, Happy April Fools Day to those of you who actually enjoy this day!