hoping to be back shortly!

Mamma Mia Here We Go...

I love not being on Facebook, and I love not being on it more today than I did any other day.  Why? Well, because today my mother joined Facebook.

I love my mom, and before creating her own account she managed to find away to get on Facebook and be in the know about everyones lives. For example, "Did you know Mike and Mel are engaged?" or "Did you hear, Eric got into Columbia Law?"  My response was always the same, "Who told you? Facebook?"  And her reply always being, "Of course."

But why am I so glad to not be on Facebook now that my mother is on it?  Let's think about this logically.  Do I really need my mother writing on my wall saying, "Good luck on your interview today, sweetie!!!!!" (all of those exclamation points being no exaggeration). I appreciate that she wants me to do well, but I don't need my whole world knowing that I have an interview.  Or how about, "Good night baby, I love you so so so so so so much."  Yes, very sweet, but we've already BBMd 20 times before bed, a wall post is just overkill.

So, welcome to Facebook, Mom.  Your life is about to more consumed than it already is!

Rumor Patrol

I'm usually not a weekend blog poster but I like to acknowledge all things crazy, and once again I've found something crazy.  According to The Morning Call, 5 people were arrested in Pennsylvania this week after getting into a brawl that started over a rumor that was posted on Facebook.

Oh but it gets so much worst, and actually, it's not even funny.  The brawl ended in a stabbing.  One of the women was stabbed numerous times in the leg and shoulders.  Once again I must ask, what is wrong with people?

The court has not released the nature of the rumors, but apparently it was pretty nasty.  Really though,  what the hell could lead to a stabbing? I mean obviously if it happens on Facebook then it's got to be true.  NOT.  Get a clue, morons.

You So McCrazy

Has anybody seen this McCrazy lady?  I know some of you don't like when I post videos (get over it!) but here is one you've got to see to believe.  Since the video has no sound let me narrate a little for you.  Here goes: Lady pulls up to McDonalds drive thru craving some chicken nuggets.  The employee at the drive thru tells McCrazy that there are no nuggets left.  The following ensues:

What A N.E.R.D

The theme of today's blog is McDonalds.  I love french fries, and it's my blog and I'll write about whatever I want! Actually, the McCrazy woman above reminded me of another video I looooooove that is McDonalds related so I decided to share it.  Thanks for the entertainment, Pharrell!

He's Just Not That Into You: Relationship status style

It's common knowledge that I have an issue with "Relationship Statuses" on Facebook.  I know everyone wants everyone else to know when they're single and when they're not.  They want to stick it to the one they really love, or they want to prove that they are independent and loving it (lie, but OK).  Here's the thing though, any guy that changes his relationship status to "In A Relationship" is not doing it willingly, that's a fact.

Most guys like being single (and I mean the vast majority), and they also like their anonymity.  There is no way in hell that a guy wakes up in the morning and says, "I think I'm going to change my status to 'In A Relationship' so that every girl I know and don't know now knows I'm locked up." No freakin way, that's not how it works.

It usually goes down like this:
Girl: Baaaaabe, I think we should be in a relationship on Facebook.
Boy: Why?
Girl: Because, we are in a relationship and everyone should know.
Boy: But who cares if everyone knows? We know and that's all that matters.
Girl: That's stupid, change your status, now.

Following said conversation, a fight usually ensues, the boy changes his relationship status and after a few months boy and girl break-up.

I'm no genius, nor am I a relationship expert, but I will give myself that I am a good social observer (not sure what that actually means, but I'm a good people watcher).  And I know this, if your man is reluctant to change his status, just end it then and there and save yourself some time and some Facebook stalking.

Sorry I've been MIA. I will be back when I've got somethin gooooood...

Facebook Polygamy

This is F-ing crazy, and by F-ing I mean Facebooking.  People are out of their mind. A woman found out her husband had a second family when his new wife tagged him in pictures on Facebook.  This is just a video you have to see to believe.  Seriously, how can people be so dumb?

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Mean Not Green Facebook Machine

Can't we all just get along?  Apparently not.  Greenpeace is pissed at Facebook.  Facebook is building a $200 million dollar data-center to store information for it's 500 million users.  Creepfest.  Anyway, Greenpeace is so mad they even took out a Facebook page to prove it.

Facebook is using coal and 30 mega watts of electricity to power it's new facility.  Don't know what that really means? It's fine, neither do I, but apparently it's not good.  According to Greenpeace, Facbeook is taking the cheap way out and could be using clean energy to keep it's stalker station running. Check the video below for a better explanation.

At Least He's Not On Facebook

OMG! I have no words.  I know sometimes you might think I post stupid videos (ok maybe you think this all the time) but this one is truly amazing.  This guy is a dancing traffic cop and I seriously laughed the entire 4 minutes of the video.  I know it's a long one, but it's hilarious!!! Justin-even you will laugh!! Do yourself a favor and watch, it will make your day!!

Every Dog Has Its Facebook

I mean I think I have to just come right out and say this because I feel really uncomfortable about it.  My friend created a Facebook account for her dog.  This is weird.  There is no other way to look at it.

It's not like I don't understand the purpose of Facebook.  People create accounts so they can connect with friends, share photos, bla bla bla.  But why on earth would someone create a Facebook account for their dog?

One of my friends called me to tell me she saw something hilarious on Facebook.  Obviously, I was intrigued.  However, when she told me that our mutual friend had created a Facebook account for her dog, I was no longer laughing, I was genuinely confused, or more so just freaked out. Is this what people do these days? Am I missing something? Seriously, is there a point to this?

My friend proceeded to tell me what the dog's account looked like,  "Well, it has his name, Prince Peanut." After she said that, I think my brain froze.  I can't comprehend the weird names that people name their pets, but I let her go on anyway.  "Then he has photo albums, they're pretty much just of himself wearing different outfits and laying on the grass in the park."  Awesome, so the dog is posting modeling pictures, not much different than humans actually.  And lastly my friend says, "And he has a wall and other dogs write on it." So, my friend isn't the only weirdo out there, other human beings are creating Facebook accounts for their dogs, awesome.

I know that as a people, us humans tend to get bored very easily.  But does that really mean that  our boredom should give way to creating Facebook accounts for our pets?  I'm surprised actually that my friend didn't take it a step further and post the dog's relationship status.  There's always tomorrow though.  What will we amuse ourselves with next?

A New Reason To Be Lame

It's amazing how out of touch I've been this summer.  I've been too busy sunning myself and writing about bar soap that I've missed out on some great Facebook bashing.  A friend of mine recently told me about the site Lamebook.com, ever heard of it? It's amazing.

So, what is this Lamebook?  If you haven't figured it out, it's a site that makes fun of Facebook.  It copies absurd statuses, pictures, typos and more and posts it on it's own site.  The home page shows you the lamest statuses of the day, and the sidebar brings you to other amusing Facebook nonsense.  Some categories include: TMI, Personal Problems, WTFights, and Lamesters.

I have to say, my favorite category is Douchebags/Douchebagettes.  You can find some real winners in that category.  For example, today in the D/D category there was a picture posted of some douche that shaved the superman logo into the back of his head.  Another great one was the picture of two Juggalos (which I think are just clowns) getting married with their face paint on.  Priceless.

If you're looking to be amused definitely check out Lamebook.com.  Enjoy!

You May Now Change Your Status

If you are like me, then you've had a crazy busy summer because all of your friends are getting engaged and married.  And what is the first thing that everyone does after they become and engaged or married? You know it, they change their Facebook status!

Here's the thing, although I'm not on Facebook anymore, my recently married friend told me she changed her status immediately!  Not only did she change her status, but she sent me the cartoon below.  I love it when people can laugh at themselves!!!

Bar None

At a recent family dinner I brought up the following topic and was completely surprised when I learned that my assumption was wrong.  Well, you know what they say about assuming...but anyway, I was under the impression that the only person in the entire world that still uses bar soap is my father.  Apparently, I'm just the only weirdo that thought bar soap had become obsolete.

Bar soap.  That's right, that is today's topic.  I'm a big time fan of body wash, and I was pretty sure that once the clock stuck midnight and the millennium was official rung in, people ran through the streets cheering and throwing away their bars of soap.  I guess that didn't happen though, because bar soap is still in existence.   

Why am I so intrigued by bar soap? I'll tell you.  For those of you who know me, CVS is my favorite store in the entire world.  I can go in there for eye makeup remover and come out with $75.00 worth of products.  In a recent trip to my favorite store I was browsing the soap aisle for my usual Oil Of Olay Body Ribbons Body Wash (the best!) when I glanced across the aisle and noticed that were shelves upon shelves filled with bar soap.  I was baffled.  I don't know if I am just blind to bar soap or what, but I seriously thought that the world had converted to Body Wash.  Who doesn't love a loofa?

I decided to poll (ok, I didn't really do a poll I just asked around) some people I know to find out of they are stuck in the 70s using bar soap or if they've embraced the current times and made the move to body wash.  And, like I said, people are still using bar soap!  I'm sorry, I just think it's really weird.  With a good body wash and loofa you can lather every part of your body, including every major crevice (thanks for the line Kevin McCalister).  With a regular bar of soap, I don't even feel clean.  Ugh, and when you drop it in the tub and have to pick it up out of the soap water, just not for me.

So dad (and the rest of the weirdos that continue to bar it up), I apologize that I made fun of you, but I still think bar soap is gross.  It's 2010, convert to body wash, you can do it.

What's Another 100 Million Stalkers?

This just in, Facebook has hit another milestone: 500 million users.  Not even 6 months ago, Facebook had 400 million users.  As if there weren't enough stalkers already, let's all rejoice that there are now 100 million more.

In the past year, Facebook has literally doubled in size.  What happened to the days when it was college students only?  Not going to lie, that was pretty awesome.  We all just kind of looked each other up, figured out who we would hook up with next, and never worried if our future husband or wife's parents were watching our every move.

Now, you can't take a shower with out someone on Facebook knowing about it.  Seriously, chances are a friend will write on your wall saying, "Call me when you get out of the shower." Or your roomate might post an asinine status saying, "Might not make it out tonight because my roomie is using all the hot water."  Sounds ridiculous, but you know it's true.

I know I'm constantly saying that everyone on Facebook is a stalker, but the truth is, what is the point of being on Facebook if you aren't going to stalk people? "Oh but I wan't to communicate with friends over seas."  Awesome, send an email or try skype.  "Oh but what about the people we lost touch with from high school."  Yeah, if we lost touch in high school and we haven't reconnected it's because I could care less if we ever speak again.  Not to mention, Google is a perfectly fine tool for finding anyone you want on the internet.

So Mazel Tov, Facebook.  It's a proud day when you can say you've invited 100 million more stalkers into your world.  Keep up the good work!

Picture This

I apologize for my absence for the past few days.  Apparently, my blogs have been slacking recently.  I'm not going to lie, it's hard to hate on Facebook during the summer.  My mind is too busy pondering which dress to wear to which engagement party and if 15 SPF is enough for a day at the beach.  I've let everything Facebook disappear from my thoughts and today it's time to bring it back.

Over the weekend I went to visit my former sleep away camp with a camp friend of mine.  While we were there she was horrified that a picture of her from her early teens years had been posted on Facebook.  She was completely mortified by the picture and was hoping that one-not too many people would see it and two-no one would tag her in it.

We continued to enjoy ourselves up at camp, sunning at the pool, lounging at the lake, and slowly my friend began to forget about the picture floating on Facebook that was haunting her life.  Actually, if I'm not mistaken she called the picture of herself "a sin."

Later that evening while watching the campers participate in an activity when another friend says to my friend, "Hey, I just saw an old picture of you on Facebook."  While I burst out laughing, the feeling of horror spread across my friend's face.  The picture had only been posted a few hours prior and people were already beginning to talk about it.

A few minutes later another friend says, "Oh yeah, I saw this picture of you from the longest time ago on Facebook."  At this point, all my friend could do was laugh (although she may have wanted to cry).  For the remaining 2 days that we spent at camp I'd say at least 6 people mentioned this one specific picture.  And don't forget, internet access is limited at camp.  Imagine how many people would have mentioned it to her in the real world?

When I returned home from camp and began to tell my mom how my trip was, I wasn't surprised when she said, "Guess what? I just saw your friend in this picture on Facebook."

To The Sea

So my posts have been completely unrelated to Facebook lately and I kinda dig it.  I'm so over talking about Facebook, I'd rather just talk about good things, or other things I can make fun of.  On that note, I'm going to try to leave you with something good for the weekend.

I just saw Jack Johnson in concert this past Wednesday and I can honestly say it was one of the best shows I have seen in a while.  First of all, G. Love, whom I'd never seen before, opened for him and was awesome! If I haven't been clear Jack was amazing as well and he played my fave song as his encore. I was so pumped, he totally did that just for me (I'm delusional, I know). I didn't really know his new songs so I was a bit apprehensive, but as he played I just bopped along to music and I loved it!

This weekend I leave you with some good tunes to listen to as you lay on the beach, drive through the mountains (which I will be doing on my way up to camp!!!), hang out at a BBQ, or go To The Sea.  Enjoy!

Do You Remember (my fave)
Breakdown
Turn Your Love
My Little Girl

Do The D-A-N-C-E

Today I will not be posting about Facebook.  One-because I have nothing to say about the stupid topic and two-because the video below is amazing. No story necessary for the following video.  Someone just sent it to me and it literally made my day (is that sad?).  For real though, it is seriously funny!

The Dancing Roommate - Watch more Funny Videos

Hittin The Books

Even if I were not blogging about my hatred towards Facebook, it's plain and simple to see that Facebook is a hot topic.  It's mentioned on the nightly news, at friends birthday parties, at weddings, on television, on airplanes, and the list goes on and on.  So it might not be a surprise to anyone that Facebook is now becoming one of the most interesting topics to write about.

Every couple of days I like to browse through Amazon to see what's new and exciting (some may use the word dorky, I still stand by exciting).  Not to my surprise some of the books that popped up on my reading list (or the books that Amazon chooses for me) are Facebook related.  I'm not going to lie, it makes me a little mad that all these people are publishing books about Facebook while I'm just a little blogger who gets maybe 4 hits a day.  Maybe I should write a book? Hmmmm

Anyway, I've compiled a list of Facebook related books below.  I may actually even read one or two of them, but I still bet I could write something better (bitter much?). Enjoy!

Some Facebook Summer Reading
The Facebook Effect
Facebook For Dummies
The Facebook Era
Facebook Cookbook
Facebook Me!

Welcome To Facebook, Gramps

Well ain't this sweet, a community grandpa.  And apparently he's all the rage on Facebook.  You know what that means, if you're popular on Facebook than you must be the real deal! Take a look below.

Stop Drinking The Haterade

Listen, I don't want to be hater, but this Lebron thing has gone too far.  I seriously can not believe the world is so infatuated with his damn decision to play for the Heat.  I went to an engagement party last night and as I floated from convo to convo everyone seemed to be talking about Lebron.

I'm not going to lie, when I found out Lebron was going to the Heat I was pissed.  As you know, I'm a big D. Wade fan and I felt it was Wade's team and I didn't need want anyone coming in and stealing his thunder.  However, when I heard that Lebron said he wanted to join a team where he didn't have to scored 30 points each night by himself I realized that he is relying on Wade to still be the big man, and with that I am OK.  Bitch move on Lebron's part though, thats pretty soft.

My last and final opinion on the matter is of the Cleveland Cavalier fans.  Two word: grow up!  Is is really necessary to burn Lebron's former jersey in the street?  Did the owner of the Cavs really need to make a statement as if we were the scorned lover in a high school relationship?  The man is allowed to trade teams if he wants, after all, that's the point of being a free agent.  Now that I've put my feelings out on the table with the rest of the world, is it OK if we stop talking about Lebron?  Let's hate on other things, like Facebook.

There's A New King In Town

How could I talk about Facebook today when there is something way more important hanging in the balance?  I know you know what I'm talking about because for the past week(s) and today especially all the big news stations are covering the story.  That's right, we're talkin Lebron James.

With Lebron being a free agent there is just nothing else in sports that seems to matter these days.  Spain v Netherlands, who cares? Lebron has to choose a team!  Now, I hate to say this (sorry Michael) but Lebron is just not "The King" in my eyes.  Last week he showed up to his meetings with the Knicks and Nets wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and shorts.  Would a real king ever show up to a business meeting in a t-shirt and shorts? I think not.

Next on my list of annoyances with Lebron.  He's just not humble.  Have you seen my boy Dwayne Wade this week? He handles himself like a gentleman, how can you not love him.  And, let's not forget,    D. Wade's already got himself a ring!  To me, he is number 1!

Forget that our country is an economic crisis and that the unemployment rate is at it's all time highest, tonight at 9 PM Lebron will hold his all-mighty  press conference to discuss his future (and multi-million dollar career) with the rest of the world.  Good luck to you Mr. James and remember, King Wade for life!

Facebook Obama-rama

Big news in Facebookland, President Obama is now the first politician to have 10 million fans.  Riveting stuff, I know.  However, this little tid bit made the national news today.  And although they found this to be exciting on the news, they are also disappointed.  Yes, Obama has 10 million more friends than most Facebookers but he doesn't have more fans than Lady Gaga.  A congratulations is in order for the Lady being she is the first person to hit the 10 million mark.

While 10 million is an impressive number (to those of you who care about having Facebook friends), 11 million is even more impressive.  Lady Gaga has surpased the Pres by 1,200,000 friends.  But don't worry in the race for Facebook popularity, President Obama is still beating Vin Diesel 400,000.

Sometimes I can't believe this is the stuff I actually write about.  I'm pretty sure the President has bigger concerns than how many people he is friends with on Facebook. However, his Facebook page is by a group that is part of the Democratic National Committee.  I guess we will see how many friends he has when it's time to vote again.

Reunited And It Feels So Good

Due to it being a holiday weekend, I will not be able to post anything Facebook related today.  One-I like to take a holiday from talking about Facebook every now and then, and two-my best friend got married this weekend and my brain is no longer capable of composing intelligent thoughts.

I will say this though, my best friend and her now husband (woah, she has a husband!) reunited on Facebook.  So as much as I hate the stupid site, it did bring two amazing people together.  Awwww, what a sap I am.  But I love them both and couldn't be happier for them even if it was Facebook that reunited them!

Happy Hot Dog

July 4th weekend is upon us and you know what that means...the Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest! I know, for someone who has a problem with people who eat both hamburger and hot dog at a BBQ you'd think that I also detest people who compete in a national competition to scarf down hot dogs, but I don't, I love it.  It's like a car accident, you know you don't want to watch but you just can't help it.

Last year, Chestnut beat Kobayashi, a big disappointment in my eyes.  I really expected that little guy to be able to take em down, I don't know why considering he probably weighs under 150 lbs.  This year, Kobayashi declared he won't be competing in the contest, but I'll believe it when I see it.

If you have no interest in watching people clog their arteries, than the Nathan's Contest is not for you.  I hope everyone has a lovely 4th of July weekend, I know I will as my best friend is getting married!!  And by the way, if you do want to eat a hamburger and a hot dog at your BBQ this weekend, don't let me stop you, after all, I am essentially promoting a contest where people eat so much they might throw up in your face on national TV! So really, what do I know?

Facebook: The Movie

I can't believe the day has come.  Facebook is now it's own movie.  I may as well show you the trailer because you'll see it for yourself soon enough.  Seems a little anti-climactic to me but see for yourself.

The Girl's 100th

As my 100th blog was approaching I continuously asked myself what I was going to write about.  How do I express 100 blogs worth of thought in just one blog?  Do I make fun of something I've never made fun of yet?  Do I compare the addiction to Facebook to my addiction to french fries?  The answer: I still don't know, I'm not that clever.  So for my 100th blog I can tell you this; I still don't miss Facebook and here are my reasons why:

A Top Ten if you will...

10. Because Farmville has been replaced by Fishville and I hate both farms and fish.

9.  Because I no longer start sentences with "OMG did you see on Facebook..."

8.  Because I no longer end sentences with "...I saw it on Facebook."

7.  Because my grandparents no longer have access to my daily escapades.

6.  Because I no longer have to wish people a Happy Birthday that I wasn't really friends with in the first place.

5. Because I now have an opportunity to make fun of everyone I know and get away with it.

4.  Because I don't have to see everyone pretending to be happy and fun when we all know that if you need to post your pics for the world to see you're really not that fun.

3.  Because I can actually hold a conversation, make a phone call, draft an email, send a text and don't need to rely on Facebook for anything social in my life.

2.  Because I can wear the same outfit more than once without having to worry if people will judge me about it.

1.  Because it feels good (and a bit safer) that I am not accesible to 500 million people worldwide.

So there you have.  No revelations or wise words, just the truth.  One hundred blogs later and I'm still going strong.  Didn't think I had it in me, did you? No worries, I didn't think it either, but I did it, so at least I did something semi-productive in the last six months.  And even though I would have liked to compare Facebook and french fries, let's be honest, french fries are a staple in my diet, I'll never be able to break that addiction.

The Official Summer Remix

As you've probably heard me mention before, I have been a die hard camper/counselor the past 17 years of my life.  While my friends always thought it was ridiculous and borderline hated me for it, I had the best summers of my life up in Roscoe, NY.  As of late, I no longer summer in Roscoe,  but I do put out my official summer mix.  While driving upstate you have to have the perfect soundtrack going in your car.  And, once you get to Roscoe you can say goodbye to radio signals, so my mix of summer tunes is essential.  I've put together my "If I Were Going To Roscoe 2010" mix for my brother, sister and friends.  I hope they enjoy it, and I hope you enjoy it too!

Miss Me by Drake
Ridin Solo by Jason Derulo
King Of Anything by Sarah Barielles
Memories by David Guetta
Dollar by Juganot
Little Secrets by Passion Pit
Delicate Few by OAR
Giving Up The Gun by Vampire Weekend
Walking On A Dream by Empire Of The Sun
Daylight by Matt and Kim
Ride It by Ciara
Animal by Neon Trees
Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap
Summer Skin by Death Cab For Cutie
Half Of My Heart by John Mayer
One Time by Justin Beiber
Human Nature by Michael Jackson
You Are The Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne

iPandemonium 4

Today is the day! Do you not know what I'm talking about? Of course you do.  iPhone 4 has been released! Now, I happen to really want the iPhone 4 but I did not rush to stores today nor did I pre-order it. When my phone is up for an upgrade (which is three weeks from now) I will attempt to to purchase the new toy.  However, I did have to go to the ATT store today.

While there, the woman behind the desk told me that people had camped out in front of the store since last night.  I would have paid to driven by the store and seen the morons waiting outside for a phone! We should remind ourselves that after all, it is just a phone.

What's funny is that the people who were camping out were the people that pre-ordered the phone.  So yeah, that means that no matter what time they got to the store the phone was already there's. And apparently, due to the overwhelming demand the release date has been pushed back a few days.  I snapped the photo posted below of the note that was posted on the door of the AT&T store.  Insanity.

You Know You're Addicted To Facebook When...

Cup Runneth Social Nework Over

Ok-now that Portugal has finished schooling North Korea I can focus on today's blog which happens to be World Cup related.  If you haven't been paying attention to life lately than you may not have realized that the World Cup has been underway for the past 10 days.  It's exciting, it's sexy and it's being followed by the world (duh) which of course means that it is all over social networking websites.

While I understand that people want to tweet about the 7 goals Portugal scored this morning or the goal that was robbed from the US team, why do the players need to promote themselves on Facebook and Twitter?  Shouldn't they be busy, I don't know, trying to win the cup for their country?

According to an article on ABC news, "The World Cup has an unprecedented volume of social media outlets."  You mean, people all over the world are using social networking sites to discuss the World Cup, no way?  Guilty as charged, I've been blogging about it for the past two weeks.  My gripe is not with the fans, because we all know, without fans, these games wouldn't exist.  I'm more confused about the players promoting themselves on Facebook and Twitter a like.

If you're a US fan than you already love Landon Donovan.  If you're a Cote D' Ivoire fan than Didier Drogba is your boy.  No need for them to sign into Facebook (or have their agent sign in) to post a status update.  You guys keep playing and looking sexy out there and leave the social media chit chat up to the rest of us dopes.

I Have A Barbequestion

As the weather heats up and we shed more and more clothes we are reminded of why we spent the last few months crash dieting.  We cut our portions and spend hours at the gym to ensure we look hot in a bathing suit and super thin at all of our summer events.  Tell me why then after months of starving ourselves we think it is ok to gorge at the season's best events, bbqs.

I love a good hamburger.  It's the first thing I think to eat at a bbq. Medium rare with lettuce, tomato, and a ton of ketchup, what could be bad?   I'll eat all the other good stuff too, corn, peppers, coleslaw and such, but you will never catch me eating a hot dog.  There was once a time when I enjoyed them.  But have you ever burped after eating one? Not good.  Never again.

Anyway, here is what confuses me about the etiquette of bbq dining: why do we allow ourselves to eat a hamburger and a hotdog?  I know, this is probably something you've never thought of or don't really care about.  But, it is worthy of questioning at least once.

Put it this way, when you go to a restaurant and order a hamburger, do you ask the waiter for a hotdog as well? Of course you don't because that would be weird.  You may ask for a side of veggies and even french fries, but eating a hot dog would be like eating another dinner.  So why then when we are at a bbq do we think it's normal to eat both hamburger and hotdog?

I like a bbq as much as the next person, but I also like not having to go up a size in pants when I'm done eating.  Trust me, there will be more than one bbq this summer, you can switch off between hamburger and hotdog at each one you attend.  Just don't double fist it, it never ends good.

Two Things That Don't Go Together

Seriously, what is not to love about Cristiano Ronaldo?  I made my mom watch him play yesterday and now she can't get enough of him! Sexy is an understatement and athletic just won't suffice.  He is one of the world's most recognizable and loved faces.  That all being said, why did he decide to create the video below?  Oh Cristiano, I loved you a little bit more before  your mentioned your Facebook page.  Cristiano Ronaldo and Facebook are not the couple I ever imagined (maybe because I was imagining The Girl Who Quit with Cristiano).

Live For The Moment Not For The Mobile 2.0

This past Friday my younger sister attended her Senior Prom. In the midst of my mother crying and my sister stressing about her hair, millions of pictures were being snapped to commemorate this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

A million years ago when I attended the prom, all my friends got dressed and ready in their own homes and proceeded to one friends house for the "pre-prom." Pre-prom for those of you who are clueless is the gathering that occurs before the prom for all the parents to see all the kiddies decked to the nines. From there, the kids hop in their oversized party bus which these days resembles more of a tractor trailer than an actual bus and depart to their elaborate prom in NYC.

While all this is emotional for the families and fun for the kids, it has come to resemble a bit of a circus. The house that held one of the numerous pre-proms had valet parking, a tent, food, drinks and lights flashing all around. The only thing missing were the elephants (please don't make me go there, I'm trying my best to be nice these days). And while you'd think that I would find this excessive and I do, I was more taken aback by the amount of mobile uploading that was occuring.

While the seniors should be enjoying one of their final occasions with their friends, they were too busy posting their pictures to Facebook. They were literally one foot onto the party bus while checking their phones for Facebook updates on who had posted pictures.

And the posts continued from the actual prom! Snap a picture with a cute teacher, upload it to Facebook. Snap a picture of your best friend making out with her boyfriend, upload it to Facebook. When are we going to just stop and literally live in the moment? I'm not sure. But if I can teach one final lesson to all graduating seniors it would be just that: Live in the moment and don't let a single second pass you by (while you're uploading your pictures to Facebook)!

Give Me A Break

Canada, oh Canada, the country that is famous for it's friendly people with laid back mentalities, aero bars, and of course, Justin Bieber, is now showing us that they may not be all that laid back.  Apparently, many Canadian corporations ban their employees from using Facebook and Twitter in the workplace.  What are our neighbors to do in this situation?  Well they just go on Facebook and Twitter on their work breaks.  Watch and listen to the video below.

And Now For The Main Event

In honor of the World Cup starting today I am positing the most amazing commercial below.  It's got all the faves; Didier Drogba, Wayne Rooney, Landon Donavon, and of course Cristiano Ronaldo.  If you happen to watch soccer because you enjoy the sport and not just the hot guys than you will get a kick (haha cheeeeeesey) out of the video.  Enjoy and GO US!

Facebook Politics

Democrat or Republican there is one thing we can agree on, Sarah Palin is crazy.  Politics is something I rarely talk about.  One, because I don't know enough about it to speak intelligently and two, I think everyone is entitled to their opinion and I don't care enough to persuade anyone.  However, when it comes to Sarah Palin I can honestly say she's a moron.

It's not that I disagree with her views, which I most certainly do, and it's not about the fact that I don't believe that she can see Russia from her house.  It's that I don't find her tactful and I just don't like her.  So, when she took to her Facebook account to criticize President Obama she reminded me once again how dumb she really is.

"The current administration may be unaware that it is the President's duty, meeting on a CEO-to-CEO level  with Hayward to verify what BP reports," Palin wrote on her Facebook page today.  Thank you Ms. Palin, we had no idea that it was the Presidents job to help rectify one of the most horrifying ecological tragedies to date.  And I must say, I'm very impressed with the way you went about speaking your opinion on the situation.  Always a classy move to post it on Facebook.

Palin went on to rant about her experiences in a mocking tone and yet continued to advise the President on what to do.  Her final Facebook words to the President were, "what the heck, give me a call."  Again, thanks for putting that out there, on Facebook.  If you were really looking to help, I'm sure you could find away, after all, you did somehow get yourself into the Presidential election.

I Love New York...When We Aren't Busy Facebooking

While waiting in Penn Station this week I encountered all the usual suspects that dwell below 34th street.  There are your men in business suits pretending to read the paper so they don't have to make conversation, young girls in short skirts and high heels that can barely stand up straight, and of course there are "the crazies".  By "crazies" I mean the people that are talking to themselves and screaming in the faces of random strangers.  Of course when I witness this I run and hide in a Dunkin Donuts.  And get a French Cruller while I'm at it, just to take away the nerves.

The other group of people that inhabit Penn Station are the police.  Seeing them standing there (or on their horses) in their crisp blue uniforms,  toting guns at their hips really puts me at ease.  I know that if a loon is to approach me he or she will most likely be detained and I can go on eating my donut.

Those feelings of ease quickly disappeared when I spotted a policeman who was staring down at his phone, texting! I was outraged.  How can this official, this man who is supposed to protect the entire commuting world from bombs and pyschos and friendly people who won't stop trying to chat with me when he is busy texting away on his phone?

I decided to do what most people would do in this situation, I slid along side of him and tried to read his text message (ok, maybe most people wouldn't do this, whatever).  As if I weren't infuriated enough, on closer inspection I saw that he was not texting, he was Facebooking!

After this experience, I thought to myself, this is New York City, the city where nothing should ever come as a surprise.  Should I really have been surprised to see a policeman Facebooking in the middle of the city, not really.  But is this what I should come to expect? I hope not because I've really enjoyed eating donuts and reading tabloids while waiting for the train, I would hate to have to give that up for a Facebooker.

The Only Mini I Like Is A Mini Skirt

Well it's Friday, thank gd, and as per usual on Friday I refuse to write about Facebook.  So today I'd like to talk about something that is near and NOT dear to my heart.  Minivans.

Why would a twentysomething year old girl care to talk about minivans? I'll tell you why.  I hate them.  In fact, I despise them.  I can't tell you when exactly this hatred began but I can say it's pretty strong.

Every time I see a minivan I ask myself, "why do people choose to drive this heinous beast of a vehicle?"  Some may some I'm being too harsh on the mini, but I feel otherwise.  When I become a parent (many many many years from now) you will never, and you can mark my words, never catch me driving a minivan.

Here's the thing.  I get it, parents have to schlep their kids and all the crap that comes along with them, soccer balls, hockey sticks, beach balls, bicycles, and everything else that precious little children possess.  However, why not drive another type of utility vehicle? You need more room, how bout an SUV? Or how bout a station wagon, those can be cute and efficient.

I have loathed the minivan forever.  They just make me feel bad and nervous about the future.  I don't want to drive one and something tells me that many current minivan drivers didn't see themselves driving them either when they were my age.  So this is me stating to the world (or the 3 people who actually read my little blog) that the only mini you'll ever catch me in is a mini skirt!

Friend List Overload

Did you know that you can't have more than 5,000 friends on Facebook?  Probably not, because who actually has 5,000 friends?  I think I've got about 10 friends in real life, but when I was a good ole Facebook member I had upwards of 1,000 friends.  A little bit creepy, even for me.

As per usual when thumbing through the New York Times this Sunday I came across an article relating to Facebook titled, Are 5,001 Facebook Friends One Too Many?  by Aimee Lee Ball.  Care to guess what the it's about?

Even Facebook knows that someone who has 5,000 Facebook friends may be a bit of a creep.  Although those are not the words they use, I know that's what their thinking.  To me, when you have 5,000 friends, you are basically just collecting friends the same way you collected baseball cards in the 2nd grade.

According to Roger Fransecky, a clinical psychologist, when you friend someone you are "sustaining an illusion of closeness in a complex world of partial attention."  So you're telling me that your Facebook friends aren't really your real friends? Shocker!

From fake friendships to winning the ultimate popularity contest, Ball covers all the bases pertaining to the wacky world of Facebook.  To read more click the link below.

Are 5,001 Facebook Friends One Too Many?

The New Way To Celebrate Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day! Today is a day for us Americans to remember and honor all of those who fought for our country.  Apparently, it's a day for something else as well.  Memorial Day is also being dubbed Quit Facebook Day.  So far, about 26,000 people have deleted their Facebook accounts! Whether it be privacy reasons or just plain old stupidity, people are saying goodbye to Facebook.  To become a quitter check out the website quitfacebookday.com.  Oh, and have an awesome Memorial Day!

The Evolution of Facebook: The Final Chapter

From AOL to PictureTrail to Friendster to Myspace we finally made it to the world of Facebook.  I'm always pondering how we could have gotten by without Internet stalking but when you think about it, we didn't have to get by for that long.

For me, I was a young stalker at age 8.  What could I possibly have wanted to stalk before age 8?  All I cared about was if I had the newest My Little Pony and when the next Home Alone was coming out.  It was a simpler time, a time when we used our 3rd grade class photo to stalk the boy we liked, not the Internet to collect info on who his latest girlfriend is, where he attended college, and whether or not he lives in Murray Hill.

Facebook started out very meagerly.  In the beginning you simply posted one picture of yourself along with your basic information.  Each user had a simple wall on their profile and you couldn't really tell who was writing on it.  Soon it began evolving.  You could add albums and tag friends and the wall became more advanced.  Now when you posted it on it, your photo appeared next to your post.  And even though you could now access more intimate details of your friends lives, it had not yet spiraled out of control.

Originally, Facebook was limited to college kids, which was cool because essentially a Face Book is what colleges use for students to identify each other.  It didn't take very long for Facebook to become open to high school kids.  And once you let high schoolers jump on the bandwagon you may as well let everyone on.  From my 4th grade teacher to my Grandpa, everyone I knew now had an account.

And so, the day came when I had to part ways with Facebook.  We had a nice run, but in the end, I just couldn't stay in a world where my 11 year old camper posted statues about her gym teacher being a hottie.  So to all you Facebookers, enjoy your run with it, but eventually, you'll see what I mean.

The Evolution Of Facebook: Part III

PictureTrail took me all the way through the early college years.  I'd say it's reign as a top stalker site went from the mid-90s to the early 00s (is that even have you write that?).  Similar to AOL it all of a sudden dropped off of my list of websites to frequent on a daily basis.  Instead, something amazing took it's place.  Friendster.

Friendster was the coolest, or so I thought.  I honestly felt that I was getting cooler just by being on it.  What a fool I was.  All of the "trendy" and "cool" people I knew were joining it and like the rest of the losers my age, I joined as well.

Friendster was essentially your modern day Facebook.  You could create a profile, add pictures, write on friends walls, send private messages and post your relationship status.  Isn't that all that anyone is looking to do on Facebook anyway?

Myspace was making it's way to the top at the same time.  However, Myspace had somehow given itself a tacky name (hence the present day situation, Jesse James finding his tattooed whores on it).  I never did create a Myspace account, I felt I was above that.  I was only cool enough to be on the website where people who didn't know each other stalked each others pictures to see if they would potentially want to hook up with them.  Oops, failed to mention that earlier but I always got the vibe that that was the gist of Friendster.

Just like all things popular on the internet, both Myspace and Friendster began to drop off.  They had both seen their day and slowly disappeared when something better came along...

The Evolution Of Facebook: Part II

First came AOL, then came PictureTrail.  I can't remember exactly what year the obsession began but  I do know that it was sometime in middle school (we're reaching the mid 90s here).  PictureTrail became the new stalker network for tweens and adults alike.

In case you were living in a cave in the mid-90s, PictureTrail was an online photo sharing site where users could post album upon album of the going-ons in their daily lives.  Riveting, I know.  I googled (thank gd for Google) PictureTrail and it actually still exists.  However, it is now used for sharing photos and "image hosting," whatever the hell that means.

Anyway, let me refresh your memory on how PictureTrail actually worked.  Your average dork would create a link to their PictureTrail and display it in their AOL or AIM profile.  From there, the other dorks could click the link and begin to stalk pictures of people they knew and people they only knew through association.  The obsession with viewing pictures of other peoples lives slowly began.

Somewhere down the line someone thought to themselves, "There's got to be a way to view information about someone and view their pictures as well." Pictures and profiles, that's genius! If only I had thought of it.  And just like AOL, PictureTrail started its slow decline into the world of forgotten websites.

Which leads us to the Evolution of Facebook: Part III...

The Evolution Of Facebook: Part I

For a while now I've been trying to think of how we stalked before Facebook.  Could we really have just gotten our information from gossip and word of mouth?  We learned how to play the game "telephone" early on, starting with a boring sentence and ending with a juicy secret.  It was our first taste of a lifetime of gossiping.  As we grew up we began to use a real telephone to tell our little stories and then came something that changed the way we live today. AOL.

My love affair with the internet started in the 4th grade (the early 90s).  My friend called and said, "Want to come over and play on the internet? Just don't tell your mom what we are doing." I was immediately intrigued.  We snuck into her dad's office in her basement and spent hours perusing AOL for everything and nothing at all.  We created a profile, we joined chat rooms, and we eventually got ourself kicked off of AOL because we were using dirty language (can't say that was the first time I got in trouble for that).  

AOL exploded and spawned a generation of stalkers.  What? Don't pretend you didn't use AOL to continuously check the profile of the boy or girl you liked.  Like I said, we started using it in 4th grade, by 6th grade we were full blown stalkers.  Which leads me to middle school.  If you were a boy in middle school you used AOL to torture the girls your age.  If you were a girl in middle school you used AOL to write code names and words for the boy you liked in your profile and you would pray that he would and would not figure it out.

But where did AOL ago?  After years of AOL being the main stalker network, new sites and social scenes hit the web and overnight it was as if AOL disappeared...

Stay tuned for Part II...

Weekend Playlist

Another weekend, another bachelorette party in Miami! Just like last time I've put together a little weekend playlist.  Hope you enjoy and have a beautiful weekend.

Daylight by Matt and Kim
King of Anything by Sara Barielles
Memories by David Guetta
Walking on a dream by Empire of the sun
Walcott by Vampire Weekend
Electric Feel by MGMT
I feel it all by Feist
Rock that body by Black Eyed Peas
My cool by Adam Tensta
Fire in freetown by K'naan

Privacy Shmivacy

Ok- so, apparently I'm not the only quitter.  It has come to my attention that there are others out there like me.  Probably not as nuts, but they are out there.  According to articles that have been sent to me by readers (yay!), websites are popping up all over the internet to promote the quitting of Facebook.  One sight, quitfacebook.com is an actual mockup of a Facebook page making fun of everything you possibly can on Facebook.  The other site, quitfacebookday.com pushes a similar message as the other site and urges all future quitters to ban together and take the plunge on May 31st.

I quit Facebook because I found it consuming too much of my time for no real reason.  Others feel this way as well but a lot of people are concerned with the privacy issue.  I won't lie, as much as like to hate on Facebook, I haven't really been following this privacy issue at all.  In fact,  you are probably better informed than I am about it.  But, many users are complaining, along with the US Government that Facebook leaves users with zero privacy.  As much as I do agree with this, it begs me to ask the question, "Why display all of your information on a 400,000,000 person network if you are looking for privacy?"

Give Chance A Chance

Last week I ran into a friend on the subway that I hadn't seen in 5 years.  The last time I saw him we were stuffing our face in a little cafe in Florence, Italy.  We never shared anything more than a Tirsamisu but I always thought of him fondly (as a friend, must I really put that out there).

Like me, he is not a member of Facebook or any other social network. When we left Italy we sent the occasional birthday text but slowly we lost touch.  I can't honestly say that I had thought about him very much since Italy, but running into him was a delightful chance encounter.  It made me realize that in this Facebook dominated era, the chance encounter has become something of the past.

Run-ins at a dive bar on the lower east side are no longer accidental, they're planned.  A friend invites another friend to a bar via conversation on their facebook wall and soon enough the whole world knows about it.  A guy likes a girl and sees she will be at this bar and "coincidentally" he shows up for a few drinks with some buddies.  The girl thinks their meeting is fate, the boy knows he is a stalker.

So, are chance encounters dead? It's getting harder and harder to decipher when the run-ins are real ones or fake ones.  So many of us believe in fate (I'm in the air on this one) and could take a chance encounter to mean something more than it actually is.  I miss the days of bumping into a friend I haven't seen since middle school by pure chance.  Instead, I see this girl all the time because both of our groups of friends have been invited on Facebook to attend the same parties.

I'm wondering, is it possible to bring back the days of bumping into someone on the sidewalk on a sunny Sunday just by chance?  I faithfully believe that those days are still ahead if we allow them to be, and when you do have a chance encounter, I promise you, you will know it.

Cause I Ain't No Holla Back Girl

There is one thing that is making me crazy lately.  Well there is more than one thing, but this is the one I will share.  I recently started a job where one of my responsibilities is to return calls to middle-aged women.  I'm not sure if it is just this demographic or if there are more people like them, but they are doing something that makes me cringe.  I don't know if they are yearning for their youth or just trying to be cool, but I'd say that about half of the women I call have ringback tones on their cell phones.

First of all, I had no idea the ringback tone was still even in existence.  In case you don't know what a ringback tone is, it's the song you hear when you call someone instead of just hearing a ringing.  This is not to be confused with ringtone.  Ringback tone is the opposite.  Second, was it ever really cool?  Maybe for about 5 minutes it was a cool idea, but I'd never say it ever actually materialized to something cool.

Coolness is not even the issue.  The issue is this: why must I be subjected to someone else's choice in music?  Do you really think I want to hear "Walking on sunshine"?  You may be slightly depressed and feel that that song lifts your spirits but it just makes me want to...well you know what I'm saying.  Or, how about the mom who has Beyonce's "Single Ladies" as their ringback tone? Yeah, your married with children, you are not a single lady.

I just don't know why you think that the song that you like is the song that I want to hear at 9:30 in the morning.  What is wrong with the phone making its normal noise of "ring ring"? I like ring ring.  I'm used to ring ring and I don't mind it at all.    What I do mind is hearing "Holla Back Girl."  I may be calling you back, but I'm definitely not your holla back girl.

Because This Isn't Obnoxious At All

If I were dining at my favorite restaurant and walked in to this obscene display in the lobby I may have just walked out.  A reader snapped the picture above upon entering his favorite restaurant.  Congratulations, restaurant which I will not name for winning the Diner's Choice Award.  However, was it really necessary to ruin your chic atmosphere by asking your diners to vote for you on Facebook and Twitter?

Maybe I'm a more traditional type of gal, but I like to enter a restaurant or a store or any public place for that matter and enjoy the decor of my surroundings.  I know that if I walk in somewhere and the walls are covered in mosiac tiles and sleek mirrors I'm most likely in for a treat.  Restaurants that take pride in their appearance most likely take pride in their food.  Dining out is about more than just eating.  It's about the atmosphere and the ambiance.  Tell me really, does it turn you on when you walk into a place with a wall covered in Facebook and Twitter?  I think not.

This Just In: We Are All Morons

This commercial gets me every time.  While I find it to be utterly stupid, I also find it to be quite funny.  I only posted this version of the commercial but there are about 5 different versions out there, all equally as funny.  

In case you missed the sarcasm, this guy is definitely making fun of the useless Facebook updates.  At the same time, AT&T is promoting the fact that you can get these idiotic wall posts and updates on your phone in an instant.  So, this is what is appeal to the masses these days? Wow, we are dumb.

If You Live Under A Rock...

...Than you need to watch the clip below!


First of all, before I even begin to talk about Betty's Facebook rant, I just have to say that Betty killed it on SNL!!! She was so amazingly funny, and I seriously can not believe she's 88.  That being said, how awesome was it when she made fun of Facebook?! "I'm not saying people on it are losers, but thats only because I'm being polite."  You tell em, Betty.

From relationship statuses to poking, Betty covered all the ridiculousness that occurs on Facebook and said quite frankly that it seems like a waste of time!  If you didn't get a chance to see Betty's opening monologue, please watch the clip above.  Enjoy!

Man Vs. Fat

America is fat.  There is no polite way to say it, so I have to just say it like it is.  Have you ever strolled around Disney Land and seen the way people consume fudge? Not pretty.  Our country is struggling with an obesity issue and yet one of the sports that is on the rise is competitive eating.  Does this make sense to you?  I'm not talking about the National Hot Dog Eating contest (which I love), I'm talking about the shows that are on TV that we love to watch yet make us want to puke.

I love food.  I absolutely love to eat.  I wake up in the morning and want to know what I am eating for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks in between.  It drives me insane when my brother says he forgot to eat lunch.  How could you forget? I've been thinking about it since breakfast!  However, I know how to draw that line (most of the time).  There are definitely days when I gorge on my mom's homemade brownies and house late night Oreo cookies and milk, but for the most part, I try not to eat like a 300 lbs man.

Speaking of a 300 lbs man let me start with Adam Richman.  I know, he's not 300 lbs, he's probably more around 200 lbs, but that guy can take down food like it's his job.  Oh wait, it is his job.  As the host of Man Vs. Food, Richman goes around the country to find the biggest, baddest dishes and tries to house them in a certain amount of time.  These "challenges" include foods like an 11 lbs pizza, a 72 ounce steak, a 12 lbs hamburger, and much much more.  I won't lie, it's pretty damn entertaining to watch.  I actually sit on my couch and cheer this guy on! And, then I think to myself that there is definitely something strange about me wanting a complete stranger to eat 40 inches of Bratwurst.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on Adam.  I actually really like him.  He's got a kind of charm about him, I just can't imagine that what he is doing to his body is going to keep him charming for very long.

My problem is that America is so fat to begin with, do we really need to watch people make themselves fat?  I was watching some show the other day where a man actually tattooed a sandwich to his stomach as a reminder that he won a sandwich eating competition.  Buddy, I'm pretty sure your stomach remembers that competition already, no need to tattoo it.

Want an alternative? Jamie Oliver.  He's pretty to look at and his show is good too.  It's called Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution and it's all about promoting healthy eating and starting it at a young age.  I know it doesn't sound as fun as watching a man consume a 20-egg omelet, but next time you're considering dropping a few lbs before your vacation to the Bahamas you may want to take Jamie's advice over Adam's.

Twice Is Not Nice

Ahhhh, springtime. The sun is shining and my skin is slowly changing from translucent to golden bronze.   It's not too hot (although I wouldn't mind if it was), it doesn't get too cold and you get to start wearing your favorite outfits that have been hiding out in the back of your closet all winter. And, hopefully by now you've dropped the 5-10 lbs of winter weight you gained because you were too  bulked out in sweaters to notice you put it on in the first place.

If you're like me, all of your friends are getting engaged and married which means you've got tons of parties to attend.  There's engagement parties, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, rehearsal dinners, and the main event, weddings (did I miss anything?).  While this is all good and fun, you have to start thinking about what you will be wearing to each event.  And, if you're on Facebook, it also means that you can't wear the same outfit twice!

Trust me, this is an "issue" girls are having more frequently than you may like to believe.  There is a certain stigma attached with wearing the same outfit twice.  It's like we think we are celebrities on the red carpet; once the outfits are photographed on the red carpet they can't be worn again.  Here's the thing, we're not celebrities and nobody cares!

This is all very shallow, I know, but this is what girls do.  It's sad and weird but we just can't help it.  The thought process of picking out an outfit is no longer just about what shoes to wear with what top, and if you should wear skinny jeans or not.  The process of putting together an outfit is now dominated with Facebook related questions: Have I worn this outfit on Facebook? How along ago was I tagged in a picture wearing this outfit? Can I wear this outfit even though I was tagged in it in September of '07?  The question   you really have to ask yourself is, "Does this really matter?"

At this point I know you are thinking that I left a few things out.  What if you are running with two different crowds, two different weekends, can I wear the same outfit with different crowds?  According to the unspoken laws of Facebook, as long as no one posts pictures you're good to go. What about when you have an amazing outfit that you can't wait to wear but you know that no one at the party you are attending is going to post those pictures on Facebook.  Do you wear it or do you save it for a Facebook picture posted event?

These questions are absurd, and it would be a blatant lie if I told you I never asked myself them while I was on Facebook.  However, my outfit choosing is stress and Facebook free these days!  And, once again, ask yourself, "Does this really matter?"  If your answer is "yes" you may need to seriously reevaluate your priorities.  Have fun with that!

Thank You, Oh Thank You, You're Far Too Kind

When it comes to Facebook, The New York Times was really on their game this weekend.  Not only did they post the brilliant article, Antisocial Networking, which I broke down into the New York Times For Dummies version yesterday but they also posted an article called Gratitude Adjustment, which will get the same breakdown today.

From Evites to thank you notes, Alexandra Jacobs (the writer of the article, duh) discusses her disdain for all things tacky.  Not that the thank you note is tacky, but there are some ways of going about it that are cheese-a-rific.

You can take a gander at the article yourself, but Jacobs, who recently threw a dinner party was absolutely appalled when a friend thanked her husband on Facebook.  She says, "I was horrified the first time my husband and I were thanked on Facebook. Actually it was only my husband who received the thanks- I refuse to join this moronic, soul-sucking "social-media network."

Alexandra Jacobs, I love you! I could not have described Facebook any better.  Her words may seem harsh but I've been trying to find the words for the past 4 months and she has summed up my feelings exactly!

Somewhere between Facebook and Twitter, we've lost track of our manners.  Thanking a person on Facebook, never OK! It's like wishing someone a happy birthday by posting it on their Facebook wall.  Is it really that much of a challenge to pick up the phone and say "Happy Birthday"? I think not.  "Thank you," are two of the nicest words you can say to somebody so why don't you actually say them next time and not use the soul-sucking network to share your feelings.

The Times They Are A-Changin

When I try to make a point about social networking I post it on my blog and send it out into the infinite abyss that is the internet.   Who even reads this blog, anyway? However, when the New York Times wants to make a point about social networking, they print it in the Sunday paper on the cover of the Sunday Styles (my fave section) making sure the whole world has a chance to read what they have to say.  And, what is it that they have to say about social networks? Exactly what I've been saying all along...

Long gone are the days when kids had conversations face to face.  Now if your looking to have a convo with a tween or teen it's almost strictly text, email, bbm, facebook, twitter, formspring, myspace (do people even use myspace anymore?) and any other form of communication that does not involve social skills.  Due to this lack of face to face interactions children are missing social cues when they are forced to have real life convos with other children and adults.

The worry of the social world used to be sexting and cyber bullying.  Not that sexting or cyber bullying have diminished, however, we now also have to be concerned about children's dependency on social network sites and technological gadgets to communicate.

Wrap your head around this: According to the New York Times, "Children between the ages of 8-18 spend an average of 7 1/2  hours per day using some sort of electronic device from smartphones to MP3 players to computers."  So, when a child wants to tell his friend a secret, he now writes it in a Facebook message.  When he wants to share a funny story, he writes it on his buddy's Facebook wall.  So glad children still want to share things with each other but the technological way of going about sharing is certainly beginning to show consequences.

Apparently, there are parents who think that social networking sites are a dream come true for their socially awkward child.  A "shy" child can now express themselves via the internet or text and make friends that they would never have made.  Hello? This is not a good thing.  These are the kids who end up sexting naked pictures of themselves in a hopes of becoming popular and use Facebook as a platform to make connections with "friends" who most likely are just making fun of them behind their back or should I say Facebook page?

Moral of the story, Facebook will not make you cool.  If you miss out on social cues early on in life you are doomed to be an awkward human the rest of your life.   How do I know this? I don't, but the Times does and they are pretty official.  I'd take their word for it if I were you.

Please bare with me today my brain is not functioning at full capacity.  I will be back with a post as soon as I have something slightly intelligent to say.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Facebook

Fact: Men and women communicate differently.  If you did not know this, this may have been why your last relationship failed.  It should come as no surprise than that men and women use Facebook for different reasons.  I know what your thinking, men want to find women to bang and women want to find men to make their husbands.  Although that's kind of my theory too, we are both a little bit wrong.  Yes, there are certainly men and women out there who use the book for that reason, but apparently they are using it for other reasons too.  Who knew?

I had always wanted to know the gender breakdown on Facebook (Why? Because I'm a big dork) and according to Forbes magazine it goes like this: 57% women, 43 % men.  If you're not the brightest compact light bulb in the box let me lay it out for you: Women dominate Facebook.  Shocker.  We all knew one day that women would dominate in one way or another and now we have found our venue.  Is that something to be proud of? You  already know my answer.

So, what is it that men and women are doing on there anyway?  Well, men are using the book as a means to gain power and women are using it as a means of "keeping in touch." Again, no surprise there.  Women are sharing photos and stories from their everyday lives while men are gathering information and building their statuses.  Real life mirroring Facebook or Facebook mirroring real life?

We've always known that men and women think differently and most certainly act differently.  And, if these differences are coming out through Facebook than that must mean that they are true.  So men, continue to hunt, gather info, and leave the seat up after you pee and the women will keep on making babies and posting their pictures online.

Senator Schumer Tames The Beast

Well, there you have it.  New York State Senator, Chuck Schumer has said, "The bottom line is this: Social networking sites are the wild west of the internet."  Hello? Is this not what I have been saying all along? So glad the senator and I see eye to eye.

The senator, along with millions of other  people are concerned with the privacy issue in regards to Facebook and other social networking sites alike.  So your saying putting all of your information on a website for the entire world to see is not such a safe idea? Shocker.

The FTC along with the Senator are dedicated to creating stricter privacy settings for all users of social networking sites.  I mean, you could just not put all your info on a social network site and that will solve all your problems, but that would be way too easy.  Plus, you still need to stalk all those people you have zero relationship to.

Update

Alert the masses: The iPad ban has been lifted. I repeat, it is now safe to bring the iPad into Israel.  The spokesperson for the Communications Ministry of  Israel says that all technological glitches have been worked out and after some testing, iPad is now approved for Israel.  The spokesperson also said, "we have nothing against apple products.  We like the iPhone here in Israel."  Good to know Israel agrees with the rest of the millions of people, myself included, who are obsessed with Apple products.

I'll be back later with some sort of Facebook nonsense.

iPademonium

The iPad. The end.

Just kidding, I obviously have more to say, although just writing the word iPad seems to dazzle people more than an actual description of it.  I will not be an iPad basher.  I love the iPad.  I have zero reason to purchase one, but I love it.  If I was an e-reader, iPad would clearly be my choice,  but other than that, I can't conjure up any reasons to spend the $$$ that I do not have.  Although I've got nothing bad to say about the iPad apparently Israel feels differently.

Believe it or not, Israel has banned the iPad. It sounds crazy, but is it?  According to the NY Times, the powerful little toy has some seriously strong wireless signals that could disrupt other devices.  Israel is pretty serious about their security (as they should be) so I understand their concern, but is the iPad a potentially dangerous threat? I think not.  The iPad's stronger signal can throw off the wireless connection of others.  The harm: it creates interference.

So what happens if you are not up to date with the laws of Israel and you bring your little friend into the country with you?  Say goodbye because it's being taken from you at Customs.  Don't worry, you'll get it back, but you'll have to pay a daily storage fee.  The real  question is, will you be able to get by with out your e-reader, your music player, your internet, your computer...your life?  You're in Israel, enjoy the land of milk and honey.

Don't worry, Apple plans to make the necessary changes and the iPad will eventually make it's way into Israel.  However, I applaud you, Israel.  Taking a stand and truly putting your people ahead of your technological cravings. Mazel Tov.

The Latest Stupidity

Ever heard of Formspring? It's just the latest in nonsensical social sites.  I'm not even sure why someone created a site like this.  The actually website is www.formspring.me.  The concept behind it is so boring and so bizarre.  Snoozefest 2010.

Here's how it works: You create an account, and surprise surprise it can be linked to your Facebook page.  From there, anyone can ask you an anonymous question which you can choose to reply to.  I'm pretty sure that this site is aimed at tweens and teens because the questions that are asked on this site are all pretty similar and pretty stupid.  I did a little research and here are some of the most popular questions: Do you get high? Do you have sex? How many girls/boys have you hooked up with? Do you think you are hot?  Here's my question: You're kidding me right?

Let's keep in mind that the identity of the people asking the questions is kept hidden.  Great, let's protect the anonymity of the douches who are torturing others.  Again though, this is one of those situations where you have to place some blame on those who choose to expose themselves to this form of social torture.  I can't figure it out.  Why sign up for a site and put yourself out there when in the end you're just going to be made to look  like a fool? Make sense to you? I doubt it.

What a brilliant idea, NOT.  As if there is not enough cyber-bullying already, Formspring has now created another platform for it.  Kids are not stupid, let's just make that clear. However, they can be mean as all hell.  They know who's cool, who's getting high, who's an easy target and who's a slut.  They take this information and they can make anyones life a living hell.  So my question for you creator for Formspring, is why create a site that contributes to the desecration of the lives of teens?  Did this really seem like a good idea to you?

Thank You, Christina Hendricks

Do you know this woman? You better. If not, where have you been? This is Christina Hendricks the bodacious broad from Mad Men.  If you are unfamiliar with her, I recommend you get familiar, asap.  Not only is she stunningly gorgeous, she has a body, and I mean body.  No, she's not 5'9, 100 lbs.  This woman has killer curves and mark my words, she is making her way to the top!

At this point I'm sure you're thinking, Ok, so she's hot, but what do she have to do with Facebook?  It just so happens that Ms. Hendricks was recently named Esquire magazine's Best Looking Woman In America.  And, when you are the best looking woman in magazine you get to say whatever the hell you want in an interview.

Hendricks dished about friends, scotch, fashion and my favorite topic to bash, Facebook.  Here is what the bombshell had to say about men: Stand up, open a door, offer a jacket.  We talk about it with our friends after you do it.  "Can you believe he stood up when you approached the table?" It makes us feel important.  And it makes you important because we talk about it.  No man should be on Facebook.  It's an invasion of everyone's privacy.  I really cannot stand it.

After reading the whole article, I realized that all men need to read it, so here's the link: Christina Hendricks: A Letter to Men.  She's poignant and smart and she thinks Facebook sucks!  You may not have taken my advice, but you should definitely take her!

Normal Humans Among Us

I don't even know how to begin this morning's blog because I was so blown away by what I was told.  I'm making it sound crazier than it is, but I was beyond impressed and kind of baffled at the same time when a friend of mine told me the following story.

Last week, my friend was set up on a blind date.  Reluctant to actually go, she decided to just suck it up and make the most of it.  Prior to going on the date we were chatting on the phone at work when I asked her what his name was and if she knew anything about him.  She paused as if she was confused, of course she knew his name and yes, she knew a few details about him.  He has blonde hair, a job in finance, and lives in Gramercy.  Those details sound all good, next question.  This was the obvious one, "Is he on Facebook?"  Her reply, "I don't know, I didn't look."  What do you mean? I don't understand.  You can potentially see what this guy looks like before you go and you're choosing not to? And there I stood, shocked and confused.

Is it possible that there are people out there that don't use Facebook as the ultimate stalking tool? Let's say it was you going on the blind date, would you search the person out on Facebook first or would you go  on this blind date truly blind of what the person looked like?  I had no idea that some people were possible of this non-stalking behavior.

Turns out, they're not.  When asking the vast majority of my friends and people that I associate with, my friend is one of very few people who don't use Facebook stalk.  She said, she just didn't really care that much to look and was going to just go with the flow.  Wow! I won't lie, I was totally impressed by this behavior.  Good for her, doing things the old-fashioned way.  Then it dawned on me, my friend is a normal human being.  She's just being completely normal and taking things as they come, not consumed by the Facebook world and the power it  holds.  Next time  you have a blind date, or are meeting someone you don't know, remember my friend and think about what she would do in this situation, be a normal human.

What To Do, What To Do

I'm having a conflict.  Actually, I shouldn't call it that because the matter that I'm conflicted over is quite trivial. However, I can't seem to figure out what I should do about it.

Let me explain.  I have been a Blackberry member since 2004.  I was going abroad to Florence, Italy and the easiest way to keep in touch was to get a Blackberry.  Was it really necessary? Eh, not really, but I'm the type of girl who speaks to her mother 12 times a day so I just thought this was the easiest option.

Ever since then, I have been a faithful Blackberry holder.  When BBM came out, it rocked my world (I clearly need to get a life).  But, really, it was great.  Such an easy way to communicate.  My brother, who chose to go with iPhone, couldn't understand why BBMing was different than just texting.  If you are a BBMer  you know the difference.  It's easy, it's seamless, it's instantaneous and I like instantaneous.

Nowadays, I'm thinking I might be over the Blackberry.  RIM keeps coming out with new ones every year and I keep feeling the pressure (from myself) to always have the newest one.  I love technology and I don't like to fall behind, but it's not really in my budget anymore to keep getting a new phone every year. Plus, the iPhone is really freaking cool.  The stuff that that phone can do is truly unbelievable.

Here's another issue I'm having with the Blackberry.  Every single girl I know always has their Blackberry in hand, BBMing away and for the most part having pointless conversations.  We hold onto them as if we're holding on to a leash of a dog we don't want to let get away.  It kind of makes me feel cheesy that I fall into that category of girls.  I just want to be that stereotype (which is what I am, so all of you girls don't be offended, but it's true)!

So, what do I  do? Do I quit the Blackberry and get the iPhone?   Or, do I stick with Blackberry because without BBM I'm scared I'll lose my friends?  I know I won't really lose them, but I'll lose that instantaneous communication I was talking about.  So, there's my conflict.  Someone figure it out and give me an answer, thanks!